My snow angels

Our Christmas Eve in a nutshell

It started like this:

Turkey time with Dr. John

It included a lot of cleaning, cooking, eating and present opening with family, all while John steadily went down hill.

It ended like this, after he passed out in the bathroom after I got the kids to bed:

John attempting to look much happier than he felt.

We got discharged a little after 4 AM from the emergency room.  Fortunately, I had a Christmas elf (my dad) able to come over to be at our house with the kids.  I was ecstatic that he also cleaned my kitchen and put all of the food away while he was here.  I was also thrilled that the kids slept until nearly 8 AM, allowing us to get almost 3 hours of sleep before checking to see if Santa had made the trip to our house.  He had...

Santa's Note

Amidst the craziness of Christmas Eve, we somehow forgot to leave cookies and milk out for Santa, though we did sprinkle food for the reindeer.  Good thing the huge cookie tray was sitting on the counter from the evening's festivities...Santa's no dummy.

My very own Christmas Concert

Joy in art

I am a teacher.  I have a kindergartner.  I have shed too many tears lately.  I don't want to talk about that.  I can't.

Instead, I need to focus on what brings me joy.

 

One of those things happens to be my kids' artwork.

 

In the fall, Cortlan was asked to color a scarecrow.  Beneath the scarecrow, they were to finish the sentence, "My scarecrow is..."  Many of the students said things like "pretty" or "nice."

 

 

Cortlan's scarecrow is "wearing laser beam eyes."  Love it.

 

 

The students in Everly's class were recently asked to draw a picture that represented their favorite parts of a holiday.

 

 

Many of the 3-year-olds' masterpieces were awesome works of abstract art.  I was quite proud (of both her and myself) when I was able to identify what Everly's picture was.  Her teacher commented on how well she did and how much time Everly spent working on the details.  Can you tell what it is?

 

 

Everly drew Santa (on the right) holding the reigns of his sleigh.  Rudolph is at the front (of course).  Santa's bag (orange, on the right) fell out of the sleigh and some toys (purple) came out of the bag.  Santa must have been running late, because the sun is shining in the sky.  This one is a keeper.

I am writing this because she would have read it

My Aunt Karen read this blog (and my recipe blog) religiously.  She subscribed by e-mail and is one of the few people to have ever commented.  Even when she didn't comment, she would often drop me a line via e-mail to make a remark about my kids or something that I had written about.  She was one of my biggest supporters and made it a point to let me know she loved me and my family...the feeling was mutual.  I always enjoyed the time I spent with her and the conversations that I had with her.

Aunt Karen died yesterday.  I will miss her so much...  We will all miss her.

Love you, Karen.  So glad you are feeling better now.  Rest in peace.

Tonsillectomy, Round 2

Yesterday was attempt #2 at getting Cortlan's tonsils out - the first attempt being thwarted by a fever 24 hours prior to the surgery.  This is a relatively long and detailed post about how things went...

Once again, we woke and headed to Children's Surgery Center bright and early; I drove Cortlan, while John dropped Everly off at school.  By the time that John arrived at the surgery center, Cortlan and I were already in the exam room.  We saw a million different people, each of whom asked us to confirm Cortlan's birthdate and the reason why we were there.  I was tired of saying "to have his tonsils and adenoids removed"; eventually, Cortlan began to answer for himself.

After a while, we got to the point beyond where we had last time - all approvals were given, booties and robe were on, they had given me an awesome outfit to wear so that I could go back with him to the operating room to be there with him until he was asleep, and we would soon be on our way.

Cortlan held my hand as we walked to the OR, a very nice nurse talking to him about Santa Claus the entire way.  When we got there, he climbed up on the table, initially curling up as if he was going to take a nap.  They asked him to flip to his back, which he happily did, and then they put the mask on his face.  The nurse was still talking to him, asking him what he wanted for Christmas, asking if he had any brothers or sisters, how old she is, what she wants for Christmas, etc., and all the while, he was smiling.  Jingle Bells came on in the music that was playing through the OR speakers; I called his attention to it and at his favorite part, I started to sing.  His eyelids started to droop, I gave him a kiss on the cheek, and he fell asleep, still with a smile on his face.

I went back to the exam room, where John was waiting for me, and I got a little emotional.  It isn't easy seeing your child laying on a table in the operating room, but I was more overcome with emotion at how brave and strong he was, how trusting and confident he was, and at what a good kid he is.  I took off my lovely white jumpsuit, and we headed for the waiting room.

We were told the surgery would take about 45 minutes, so John went to get his coffee while I got comfortable with some grading I needed to get done.  I was surprised when, ten minutes later, a nurse came to get me to talk to the anesthesiologist on the phone.  I spoke with him; he needed permission for them to perform a procedure that was not initially expected and that I had not yet consented to.  They needed to do a tracheoscope and a bronchioscope.  I consented.

I headed back to the waiting area with John and explained to him the conversation that I had just had.  Less than thirty minutes later, the surgeon came out to speak with us.

The first thing she said was that Cortlan was doing well.  The second thing that she said was that he still had his tonsils and adenoids.  Our reaction was not necessarily positive, and she said, "Let me explain."

When they had tried to intubate Cortlan, the tube that they would typically use for a child his age and size wouldn't fit.  They tried the next size down and it wouldn't fit, either.  Neither did the size below that.  They needed to do the scope to determine what the issue was preventing the tube from fitting.  They discovered that his trachea is not much bigger than that of a typical two-year-old's. 

This is and has been an issue on several fronts.  First, we have been focusing on the upper respiratory issues, which are still present, but never thought of lower respiratory issues.  This small airway restricts his breathing somewhat and is what causes his croup-sounding coughing and loud breathing.  Second, the three attempts at intubation followed by the scopes was traumatic enough for the day such that the surgery could not go on.  (Further, if I understood correctly, the intubation tubes they had at the surgery center that were small enough in diameter were for smaller children and would not have been long enough.)

The doctor recommended that we hold off on the surgery until he grows and his airway is larger.  However, she also recommended that we see one of her colleagues and get a second opinion.  We have already scheduled that appointment.  We had been convinced that the removal of his tonsils and adenoids will provide much needed relief for Cortlan.  He can hardly breathe through his nose.  The allergy issues that he has are compounded by the fact that there is no room for drainage.  His tonsils are so large that his tongue doesn't have enough room in the back of his mouth, which will likely (but not definitely) cause issues with his palate and which already seem to be causing some speech problems.  These are convincing reasons for us to go forward with the surgery, but we are certainly interested in another specialist's opinion.

If the surgery does take place sooner than later, we have been told that it will not be at the surgery center.  He will be a slightly higher risk patient and it will be done at the hospital, possibly as an inpatient therefore requiring an overnight stay.  They only do the simplest cases at the surgery center, and not that this will be overly complicated, but everyone (including us, obviously) would feel better with him being at a fully equipped hospital.

After waking up, Cortlan did have some coughing and breathing issues, so they gave him a breathing treatment.  When we went to see him, he was somewhat groggy, but not at all upset.  He was happily watching TV, had already had a slushie, and was about to start his first of many Popsicles.  The nurses couldn't say enough good things about him.  Due to the breathing treatment, we had to wait there for four hours until it wore off. In the case that the issues returned after it wore off, we would have had to have him transported to the hospital and he would have stayed overnight. Thankfully, this was unnecessary.  We hung out in our little room, playing on our phones, watching TV, playing on his Explorer, and when he had to go to the bathroom, we wheeled his IV cart along with us.  Nothing seemed to bother him... Except, perhaps, the fact that he had to face his friends today at school after telling him that he was going to get his tonsils out and wouldn't be in school for a while (again). 

Cortlan was back to normal by the time we left.  He even wanted to stop and get food on the way home, which we did.  I am incredibly proud of him for how well he has handled all of this.  We will continue with the doctors appointments and will see what others say regarding the surgery and will hopefully see the end of this process soon.

The Big Problem

Sleeping as soundly as any mom does, I was awakened last night by the pitter patter of little girl feet in the hallway.  I half-listened, half-expecting a yell of some sort for help, but heard only the sounds of Everly using the potty by herself and going back to her room.  For a moment, before I fell back asleep from the barely-awake state I was in, I thought about how far we've come over the last year; Last year at this time, Everly was still wearing Pull-Ups at night and (at best) would scream from her bed if she had to go potty in the middle of the night.

I fell back asleep.

But I was probably only asleep for a minute or so when I heard from beside my bed a soft little, "Mommy?"

Uh oh.

"Yes?" I asked.

"Mommy, I have a big poblem."

Here it was.  In my mind flashed images of pee on the floor of the bathroom, pee on the bed, and worse.  My previous thoughts of how far we had come, shattered.  But, she was being so calm...it was surreal.  I tried to stay calm myself.

"What is the big problem, Everly?"

"I can't find fuggy bea."

Relief flooded over me and, for once, I didn't mind getting up to help Everly find Snuggy Bear.  And in the morning, I was sure to compliment her on her technique.  A quiet voice with cute words is so much better to wake to than a wailing girl if I must be woken in the middle of the night. 

Maybe we really have come a long way.

Tomorrow again?

Sometimes it is hard to remember that Everly is three (or three and a half, I am sure she would correct me), as she always strives to live up to the example of her older brother in many ways.  She often tries out new words and, though she certainly acts in the way that only a three-year-old can at times, she generally does a pretty good job of outperforming her years.  She says things like, "But Albert already saw my brown boots!" as I try to reason with her about the choice of outfits for her friend's birthday party, that makes me think she is three going on nineteen. 

But she also says things that I find completely endearing and very much her age, like, "I did it all by my own!" when she is proud of what she has accomplished. 

When she is trying to figure out when something is going to happen, Everly and I will have a conversation that goes something like this:

"Is tomorrow Thanksgiving?"
"No, not yet."
"Tomorrow again?"
"Nope."
"Tomorrow again?"
"Nope."
"Tomorrow again?"
"No."
"Tomorrow again?"
"No."
"Tomorrow again?"
"Yes.  That is the day for Thanksgiving."
"YAY!!!"

And on Thanksgiving, she asked, "Is tomorrow Christmas?"  And I said, "No."  And she said, "Tomorrow again?"  And we were there a while.

But I loved it.

Fall Festival 2012

When Cortlan and Everly started attending the school that they currently attend, Cortlan began in the "California Room" with Ms. Kaylee.  Everly was but a not-quite-18-month-old at the time.  As I went down the hall to pick Everly up the other day, the 18-month olds toddled by.  I could hardly believe that my little "big" girl was that little when she started...and now she is in the California Room with Ms. Kaylee.

Each year, the school hosts a Fall Festival, complete with refreshments, decorations, a stage, and lots and lots of practicing.  Thinking back to Cortlan's first Fall Festival with Ms. Kaylee, I remember being so excited to see him on the stage for the first time.  While some kids cried because they clearly didn't want to be there and other kids hammed it up and grabbed everyone's attention, Cortlan fell somewhere between the extremes.  He stood quietly, occasionally mouthing a word or two, but mostly stood there in some sort of trance.  He did much of the same, with slight improvements, last year. 

This year, as we headed into the fall festival, I had high expectations.  Kindergarten (or perhaps just getting older) has changed Cortlan in a positive way - he is becoming more confident.  He loves to learn and tell people what he knows.  And who knows, maybe the hours he has spent in the high school auditorium watching play rehearsal has made him realize what performing on stage can be like and that you don't have to be nervous if you are prepared.  Cortlan had certainly prepared.  For what seemed like months (I actually think it was), he practiced his lines for the Thanksgiving alphabet - he was E for Explore - and his songs, including What a Wonderful World, which incorporated a sign language component.  He seemed ready.

 

And he was.  He spoke confidently, he sang the songs, and he signed the signs.  When they played bells to the song I have Peace like a River, he hit every note with his bright orage bell.

 

Everly also seemed very prepared going into this year's festival.  She had been singing rousing renditions of The Farmer had a Tree and more for quite a while.  Keeping in mind what Cortlan did at her age, I wasn't sure what to expect once she got on stage.  Her class had the same dynamic as Cortlan's three-year-old class did a couple of years ago - again, there were the attention seekers and the wall flowers.  Everly seemed to attempt to hide behind a friend most of the show, but when I could see her, she was singing...or at least mouthing the words.  She did a great job, but was clearly not in her element on stage.

 

 

 

They both did a great job, and I was the ever beaming mom through the entire thing.  I was, and am, so proud of them both.

The best campaign poster

Yesterday was election day.  I absolutely hate politics - especially for how devisive it is - but I couldn't help but love this:

 



Cortlan's class held elections for a variety of positions, and though he didn't win his bid for "Smart Board Teacher," he handled it well.  And you can't beat his campaign poster and his platform: "I will pick fun games."

Historic day

Hurricane Sandy makes landfall; millions without power.  New York city is nearly shut down.  Record breaking winds, rainfall, etc.  Atlantic City, Jersey Shore and more are hit hard.  Our school is closed tomorrow and a two hour delay is called for Wednesday already as we prepare for potential 40-60 mph wind, flooding, and possible power outages in the area.

And this morning, at 5:15 am, my brother and his wife welcomed their first child into the world: a beautiful, 7 lb 5 oz, 20 inch baby girl.

As heard from the front seat

Cortlan (to Everly): I am staring at you because I don't like that sound, you know.

Everly continues to shake her ziplock bags containing her breakfast.

Cortlan: I hope those bags open up and then your food goes everywhere.

Everly continues.

Cortlan:  If your strawberries fly out and your bagel flies out, you will just have bags left, you know.  (Pause.) Then you'll just have to eat your bags for breakfast.

Suddenly, the noise stops.

Half Marathon #3

When I ran a half marathon through the city streets in May, though I was proud and satisfied, I was mostly happy it was over.  I enjoyed the race only on some mental level that I am not quite satisfied with, or at least not enough to want a repeat performance.  The early-bird registration for the 2013 version of that race has come and gone, and I have no desire to sign up.  After that race, I took a short break and then resumed running, though without any goals in mind.  I continued running, often meeting with a new running partner, through the summer, and then, surprisingly, into the fall.  My mileage steadily increased as my friend and I talked away the dark evening miles after the kids were in bed during the week and I headed out at daybreak on the weekends.  With no goal in mind, I actually wasn't sure when to stop or what to do.  In late September, my friend finally convinced me to run the half marathon that she was training for; somewhat reluctantly, I did.

My reluctance was largely due to the fact that I was kind of enjoying the no pressure runs.  With no plan, I didn't have any regrets when I cut a run short.  I didn't care if I did sprints, or hill workouts, or tempo runs.  When I felt like it, I went a bit faster, when I didn't, I went slower.  But I also felt as though I needed a "grand finale" to this season of running.  Not that I am going to totally stop, but I kind of was missing something to work for, after which I could give myself permission to cool it for a bit.

About a month prior to the race, I signed up not having the slightest clue as to how I would do.  I had certainly been putting in the miles.  At my peak, I was running over 30 miles a week; typically, more in the 26-28 range.  I knew I had it in me to finish without an issue.  I had also done some workouts with my friend here and there when our schedules aligned and we wanted to.  But I really didn't know what to expect from myself.  Therefore, I didn't put a whole lot of pressure on myself. 

It was a chilly morning, with threatening rain.  My friend picked me up at 6:30 AM and five of us drove the 40 minutes or so to the race packet pick-up location.  We got our timing chips and bags and got on the school bus that served as the shuttle to the start.  Once there, we headed into the heated building that was available.  I did my fair share of waiting in lines for the porta potties but otherwise managed to stay warm.  Soon, it was time to line up.

The five of us that drove together split off, with two sticking together and the rest of us going at it alone.  The gun went off and so did we.  Stuck in a large pack, I jockeyed myself through the sea of people until I was in a comfortable place with some elbow room.  We ran on the streets for about half of a mile, and then a hairpin turn took us down onto a trail that is part of a "Rails to Trails" program - unused railways have been converted into running paths; the rails are gone and crushed gravel and, in some places, asphalt have been put in their place.  As soon as I got onto the trail, I knew I was going to love this race.

One of the guys that rode with us had a similar race plan as me...we both planned to start at around an 8 minute mile pace and adjust from there.  When I was approaching the hairpin turn, I spotted him heading the other direction.  I got to within about six feet of him and decided to hang there behind him for a while.  He had no idea I was there, and I later found out that he thought I was ahead of him.  I let him pace me at between 7:55 and 8:00 miles for a while before he noticed me.  I was surprised at how easily I was able to maintain that pace, but I still didn't feel confident enough to speed up at all.

I had thrown together a play list the night before, and I was loving it.  At around mile 7 or 8, a great song came on that made me itch to run faster.  I pulled up beside my friend and said, "Are you ready?" He said, "You go."  I did.

As I ran, oftentimes singing along to my music, I was struck by the beauty of the course.  All around me were trees with beautiful fall foliage.  At one point, to my right was a lake.  For much of the course, there was a creek to my left.  I passed a water fall.  There were boulders and cliffs.  The skies cleared and the sun shined through the tree branches.  Leaves, blown by the slight breeze, fluttered down.  For a little while, I tried to catch them as I ran, thinking that Cortlan and Everly would love to have a leaf that I caught during my race.  I soaked it all up and enjoyed it; this was such a different experience than May. 

And I could hardly believe it, but my legs felt great. 

As I came upon mile 10, I still felt like I had another gear left.  In that mile, I averaged 7:51 as I slowly caught and passed people.  I did the same for mile 11.  Something fantastic happened in mile 12 and without looking at my watch until the end of the mile, I was able to average a 7:36.  With 0.2 mile to go, I could see the finish line and I began to go as fast as my legs could carry me...I brought it home with a 6:59 pace.

With low expectations, a beautiful downhill course, and what turned out to be perfect race conditions, I finished with a personal record of 1:43:05.70.  What's even better is that this may be one of my favorite runs ever.

_____________________________________________

Here are my results:

Finish time: 1:43:05.70
Overall Place: 164/822
Division Place: 7/87
Female Place: 35/426
Average Pace: 7:52/mi

Well, that didn't go as planned...

So, I thought that if I got a chance to write today it would go a little differently, but things don't always work out as planned.

When I picked Cortlan up from school on Monday, I noticed he was a little flushed.  When I gave him a hug, he felt warm.  So, I took his temperature and, sure enough, it was 101.  I called the ENT's office and asked if this would affect the surgery.  The answer I got was a hopeful (but not promising) "the surgery will most likely go on."  The thought was that there would be enough time between then and Thursday to fight whatever it was that he needed to fight, and we would go as planned.  I was also told that they would likely proceed with the surgery if the temperature was mild.

Cort's temp was less than 100 on Tuesday, but when I picked him up from school yesterday (Wednesday) it was back up to 101.  I began to worry, but still felt hopeful, as he was acting like his normal self and even wanted to ride his scooter around the neighborhood.

We got up this morning as usual.  John took Everly to school and Cort and I left for the surgery center with him comfy in his PJs.  John met us there.  We sat in the waiting room for a bit and then were moved to an exam room.  One person after another came in asking us questions and giving us information.  One nurse took his temperature (it was normal) and blood pressure.  One went over procedures with us and gave us a hospital shirt and booties for him to wear.  Someone took a reading of his blood oxygen levels.    Everyone asked us questions, including about his recent health, and I was truthful about the temperature and minor symptoms he has been experiencing.  Things continued to proceed.  A nurse told us what would happen with the anesthesia.  Then the anesthesiologist came in.  And then the surgeon, who had been told about the temperature.  A discussion ensued, and it finally came out that despite the fact that the anesthesiologist had no concerns for Cortlan's safety or health during the procedure, the recovery may be another issue.  The doctor did not want to proceed with the surgery.

Obviously, I don't want Cortlan's recovery to be any more difficult than it need to be and I know the right decision was made.  But, I have been having a very stressful couple of weeks.  Having things planned, and then - by surprise - changing the plans kind of makes me lose it more than it should, admittedly.  I handle things much better when I have time to prepare.  Despite the fact that I knew it was a possibility, I had not prepared for the fact that the surgery had to be canceled.  So, the doctor might think I am a little bit of a wacko right now.  (John might, too, but I am pretty sure he already knew.)

Finding a date that worked for this surgery was a challenge.  Finding a new one - even more so. In this case, it isn't necessarily the surgery, but the two weeks of recovery that come after.  I don't want Cort to miss out on the holidays.  I don't want the surgery to be when I am in New York City for school.  I don't want the surgery to be on the day of Cortlan's fall festival for which he has worked so hard for months to prepare. 

After getting the news and some awkwardness, we went across the hall to get a chest x-ray.  We went to his pediatricians.  We stopped by the ENT's office to schedule another surgery.  This time it will be on December 5th, and we are praying that he will be healthy for it.  At least we will know what to expect.

The story of the tonsils

Cortlan has hardly been able to breathe through his nose since February.  Initially, we thought he had a cold, and he may have.  But the cold never went away.  Our current assumption is that as the cold improved, his allergies took over.  At the time, we didn't know that he had allergies, but we did take him to his pediatrician at one point in the spring.  His eyes had gotten puffy and his head was still congested; she prescribed him eye drops and an over-the-counter allergy medicine.  The eye drops helped considerably, but there was only a slight improvement with the congestion.

As spring turned into summer, Cort still got no relief.  Thank goodness for a Costco membership, as buying tissues in bulk became a necessity.  Eventually, we decided that we had to take this to the pros and we went to an allergist.  The allergist tested him and determined that Cortlan is severely allergic to grass, ragweed, and a few other weeds for which they specifically tested.  He also is allergic to cat and oak.  The specialist recommended continuing the course we were on and added a nasal spray, as well.  At that first appointment, he mentioned that we may need to check on his adenoids.  We made a follow-up appointment for a month later.

At the follow-up appointment, the doctor asked if we noticed a substantial difference after using the nasal spray for a month.  We hadn't.  There was some difference, perhaps, but he was still unable to breath through his nose.  The doctor noticed signs of infection and put him on antibiotics, but even after going through the course of them, he still didn't seem much better. At that follow-up appointment, the allergist indicated that the nasal spray may not be getting to where it needed to to cause improvement due to enlarged adenoids.  He recommended that we see an Ear Nose and Throat specialist to get them checked. 

About two weeks later, we were at the ENT specialist.  I hadn't told Cortlan what to expect, because I wasn't entirely sure myself, but the thought was that he would have to have a scope done that would go through his nose to examine the adenoids in the cavity behind.  In the initial examination, however, the doctor looked in his mouth and had him say "Ahhhh."

"Wow!" she said.  "You have really big tonsils!"

She continued the exam, and at one point turned to me and said, "I can certainly do the scope if you want me to, but I can tell you right now that my recommendation is to have the tonsils removed.  Once I am in there, I can examine the adenoids and remove them if necessary."

The thought is that his large tonsils are restricting his airway, causing problems that range from snoring to lack of airflow through his nose to problems with drainage from his nose.  The doctor said that without surgery now, an orthodontist would likely be sending him to have it later, as there is no room for Cortlan's tongue in the back of his mouth.  This could cause problems with his pallet and the roof of his mouth may become misshapen in time.  The surgery needs to happen.

That appointment was on October 4th.  Two days from now, on October 18th, Cortlan will have his tonsils removed.  We are very hopeful that there will be a noticeable difference and that he will find relief.  We are also hopeful that the recovery goes well.  Cortlan is a tough kid; he is very tolerant and rarely complains when sick.  When he had to get his blood work done, he quietly sat and watched as the technician inserted the needle into his arm and drew three vials of blood.  The tech commented that he handled the process better than many adults.  Even still, you never know what to expect with things like this. 

I have stocked up on popsicles (I have maybe bought two or three boxes in his life until this point, so this will certainly be a treat) and Italian Ice.  We made home made apple sauce on Sunday, and I bought plenty of soup and a spaghetti squash.  He will have to spend at least a week out of school, inactive, and he is not going to be able to go to soccer or gymnastics for two weeks, so as a surprise, we also got him a new game for his Explorer.  (We also prepared for the bouts of jealousy that Everly will likely experience over the attention, the special diet, and Cortlan "getting to go" to the doctors.  For one, she is getting a new pair of boots.)

So there you have it...the story of the tonsils.  The next couple of weeks should be interesting in many ways.  It should be no big deal; We are ready.  And Cortlan has been counting down the days.

And it begins...

My kids are always there for each other.  When Everly is upset about something, the first person she reaches for is Cortlan, and he is right there to give her a hug.  (We are kind of used to it, but that "act" never fails to get strangers' attention when it happens in public.)  They do get along really well....most of the time.

 

On Saturday, Cortlan made this sign.  All by himself.  Apparently, Everly was pretending to be a baby and was crawling into his room.  That didn't go over all that well, so he placed this sign (with a picture to assist the non-reader) outside his room.

 

And so it begins...

 



Take THAT...

We had a really nice day yesterday, with a trip to one of the city's museums in the afternoon.  Several venues in the city were free over the weekend as part of a large event.  We took the opportunity to visit one of the museums that is not part of our membership and spent about two hours touring the exhibits... just enough time to not lose interest or be too tired, but certainly not enough time to warrant a full admission.  Perfect.

We left the museum at closing, which was 5pm.  Thinking it would be quicker to grab a bite to eat out (a rare occasion) than to go home and cook, we checked our coupons and found a restaurant that we had never tried before.  We got to the restaurant only to find that it wasn't open on Sunday...unfamiliarity with the hours being a clear downfall of trying a new place.  We were hungry.  Unfortunately, at that point, the only thing close enough and quick enough was Dairy Queen as a plan B.  Certainly not the type of restaurant we had originally picked, but it would do...and it has been a while since we have had an ice cream treat.

On the way home, John and I struggled to have some sort of conversation in the front while the kids alternated between getting along and bickering in the back.  At one point, I heard Cortlan threaten Everly with, "Well then you aren't going to be allowed to come to my 'Life is Good Festival'!" which is a festival that actually exists and we heard about on the radio, but one about which Cortlan knows nothing.  Apparently, he liked the sound of it, so he has developed some make-believe festival by the same name.  And apparently, Everly did something to warrant being banned from said make-believe festival. 

The conversations continued, and I more-or-less tuned the kids out for a bit, letting them have their own discussions while John and I had ours.  It wasn't long, however, before I heard, "Daddy?"

It was Everly, and she sounded a bit peeved.

"Yes?"

"Would you like to stay home with Cortlan on my birthday?" she asked.

We were confused for a minute.  "Stay home with Cortlan on your birthday?" I repeated for clarification.

"Yes.  Because he isn't allowed to come."

Ahhhhhh.....Cort, I think she one-upped you on the "Life is Good Festival" banishment. 

And she even covered for your supervision.

Can this count as 4 posts?

A couple weeks later and here we are. This is what has been happening.

EVERLY:

• has started calling her brother "Cotlan" instead of "Totlan."
• wore jewelry to school three out of five days last week; one of those days, she got her necklace taken away because she wouldn't stop playing with it, even when her teacher asked her repeatedly not to. She's not allowed to wear that one to school anymore.
• changed her clothes three or four times this morning before leaving for school. Ultimately, she wanted to wear a sweater. As soon as we got to school, she took it off anyway.
• has been getting out of her bed regularly at night. I finally told her that I am going to start marking down how many times she gets out of bed, and there are going to be consequences if she gets too many marks. (I have yet to figure out how many is "too many.")  Last night, she didn't get out of bed until 11pm, when she woke to go potty. (She won't get a mark for that.)
• loves cutting and gluing, is very good at recognizing her letters and letter sounds, and is very motivated to learn.
• thinks that she can spell, because she keeps randomly spouting off letters and asking me what that spells. For example: "Mommy, what does 't-t-t-t-l-p-l-r-y' spell?." Usually, I sound out what she spells and then tell her it isn't a word. Once, though, she said, "Mommy, what does 'e-a-r-l-y' spell?" I had to give that one to her. Cortlan was amazed she could spell "early".
• doesn't care much about saving things. When she is done, it can be thrown away.
• started gymnastics and loves it. Though, she needed to be sure to have the ponytail holder that matched the leotard she wore.

CORTLAN:

• laughs and says "You kicked me?? No you didn't!" when his sister clearly means "tricked." He calls her on her mispronunciations all the time...maybe that is why she has started to say his name right.
• was on "yellow" three out of five days last week at school when we picked him up. This isn't as bad as red, but he should be on green. His teacher said, "He was being way too silly with his friends."
• has been doing a great job at getting himself dressed in the morning. For the most part.
• seems to be taking advantage of his color blindness (for John's benefit: his color vision deficiency). Several of the worksheets that he has had lately have required him to correctly identify colors. For example, he was to color all of the pictures that rhymed with "boat" blue and the ones that rhymed with "jar" red. Other worksheets had him using as many as eight or ten colors. I asked his teacher how he has been doing with those activities. She said that his friends help him tremendously, giving him all of the crayons, telling him what color they are. "Here, Cortlan, this is the brown one! This is the red one!" I can just picture it.
• went to the allergist in August and found out that, among the things for which he was tested, he is severely allergic to grass, ragweed, two other weeds that I can't remember, oak, and cat. He did not show a response for crab, lobster, or shrimp. He is on a nasal spray, a liquid allergy medicine, and eye drops. Yesterday, at the follow-up appointment, we found that he may have to get his adenoids removed. An ENT appointment is up next to find more information about that.
• must save everything. It is driving me crazy. Every piece of paper. Every bottle cap, paper towel tube, even the used dixie cups he drinks water out of at school. He sobbed when I told him we were going to have to throw some of it away.
• started soccer again. He got a goal in the first game and was thrilled! The second game didn't go quite as well, but he did seem to enjoy it. He is really liking gymnastics.

JOHN:

• has been working hard and doing a great job at what he does. I am proud of him...it isn't easy to deal with as many people as he does with the grace and respect in which he does it. He is very appreciated at work and at home.
• has been able to experience the "gymnastics thing" this year which involves listening to a whole lot of moms chatting away in the viewing room. He is driven as crazy (or crazier) than I typically am.
• washes dishes like nobody's business.

I:

• have been wondering how I got such a high maintenance daughter.  Seriously. 
• can't believe that I spelled kindergarten incorrectly in two posts. And my mom had to call me to let me know about it.
• have been running regularly (though half the time not getting home until after 9pm) and finally was convinced to sign up for my 3rd half-marathon.  I have a running buddy that I get to run in the evenings with most days, and I have been loving the opportunity to chat and have some social time while exercising.  Often, it is the only socializing I get to do.
• have had some very stressful days at work lately, but I am kind of proud of myself in how I handled them.
• am somehow calmly appreciating my life.  I have alone time (kind of); I have time when it is just me and the kids; I have time when it is the four of us; I have time when it is just John and I...and I appreciate and enjoy all of those times for what they are.  I realize that I need all of that, and that it is all good.

Just a couple of random things while I have a second...

• The new school year is a time for a fresh start - a new attitude, a new perspective, sometimes a new way of doing things; a chance to start over.  I have reprioritized a bit this year...it seems to be working so far.  Though, those priorities have left me with far less time on the computer.  Which is a good thing.  Except I miss writing this blog.  And I have missed a time-sensitive e-mail or two.  Oops.
• The kids school year has started off well.  Everly seems to be having a few more growing pains than Cort with the change, but for the most part, the transition has been smooth.  Cortlan loves kindergarten and though I was worried tremendously when his first papers came back mostly incorrect, I was kind of happy to see how he handled it:  He has asked to work on his numbers at home, wants to have "number school," and is really working hard to learn from his mistakes.
• I visited a friend and her two-week-old the other day.  I got to hold a beautiful little sweet-smelling newborn girl and reminisce about my kids being so tiny.  As we talked about babies sleeping and nursing and schedules and routines and waking up in the middle of the night, I felt a little jealous about how smoothly things seem to be going for her.  I swear it didn't work that way for me.  (A trip to Walmart that involved my mom carrying Everly away and me still hearing her scream from across the store stands out.)  But I am so happy for her, and I hope that things continue to go so well.  As we talked, I thought about how sweet it was to sit in the peaceful night with nothing to do but cuddle and nurse my sweet babies and how awesome it was to be able to care for them and nurture them.  And I thought how much I still love to care for them and nurture them.  And how glad I am that that doesn't involve waking up in the middle of the night anymore.
• I have been thinking lately about some stuff and came to this conclusion:  There are pros and cons to everything, but sometimes, just sometimes, you just have to throw all of that out the window and do what makes life easiest.

Guess what Everly loves to do...

 

 

 

 

Adrift

The kick-off in-service day for the school district in which I teach was on Monday.  I might be unusual, but despite my anxiety and reservations about going back to school each year, I actually look forward to hearing the message that is presented on that first day.  It is usually inspirational and ultimately reminds me of why I do what I do and makes me feel all warm and fuzzy about the start of a new year.  Unfortunately, times are a little tough in public education these days, and while I sat eagerly awaiting a morning flooded with inspiration, it only came in spurts and sputters.  There were great moments - a teacher with the message of teaching with passion, phenomenal student performers - but the unfortunate message seemed to be to brace ourselves.  While our district's theme was once "Great Expectations - The Best is Yet to Come," the message we were receiving seemed quite contrary to that.  We are facing some tough times ahead, economically speaking, and that means that changes will come.  I wasn't feeling my usual back to school excitement by the end of the day.

Fortunately, the message was a little brighter on day two of in-service, and I was reminded again of how fortunate I am to be a teacher and teaching in the building that I do, and that things are never as bad as they could be.  The following article was just one of many that we were given as "food for the spirit" and I loved the message, so I am going to share it.  I am not sure of the author, but the title is "Adrift":

In 1982, Steven Callahan was crossing the Atlantic alone in his sailboat when it struck something and sank.  He was out of the shipping lanes and floating in a life raft, alone.  His supplies were few.  His chances were small.  Yet when three fishermen found him seventy-six days later (the longest anyone has survived a shipwreck on a life raft alone), he was alive - much skinnier than he was when he started, but alive.

His account of how he survived is fascinating.  His ingenuity - how he managed to catch fish, how he fixed his solar still (evaporates sea water to make it fresh) - is very interesting.

But the thing that caught my eye was how he managed to keep himself going when all hope seemed lost, when there seemed no point in continuing the struggle, when he was suffering greatly, when his life raft was punctured and after more than a week struggling with his weak body to fix it, it was still leaking air and wearing him out to keep pumping it up.  He was starved.  He was desperately dehydrated.  He was thoroughly exhausted.  Giving up would have seemed to only sane option.

When people survive these kinds of circumstances, they do something with their minds that gives them the courage to keep going.  Many people in similarly desperate circumstances give in or go mad.  Something the survivors do with their thoughts helps them find the guts to carry on in spite of overwhelming odds.

"I tell myself I can handle it," wrote Callahan in his narrative.  "Compared to what others have been through, I'm fortunate.  I tell myself these things over and over, building up fortitude..."

I wrote that down after I read it.  It struck me as something important.  And I've told myself the same thing when my own goals seemed far off or when my problems seemed too overwhelming.  And every time I've said it, I have always come back to my senses.

The truth is, our circumstances are only bad compared to something better.  But others have been through much worse.  I've read enough history to know you and I are lucky to be where we are, when we are, no matter how bad it seems to us compared to our fantasies.  It's a sane thought and worth thinking.

So here, coming to us from the extreme edge of survival, are words that can give us strength.  Whatever you're going through, tell yourself you can handle it.  Compared to what others have been through, you're fortunate.  Tell this to yourself over and over, and it will help you get through the rough spots with a little more fortitude. 

Retrospective summer bucket list

At the beginning of the summer, several of my friends created "summer bucket lists" and posted them online.  I absolutely loved the idea.  I also recognized that making one would probably make me crazy.  When I have a to-do list, or a running plan, or things marked on the calendar (or sometimes even just on the calendar in my head), it somehow becomes a crime if I don't get those things accomplished.  A bucket list, I was afraid, would take the fun things we do in the summer and turn them into tasks that I had to accomplish.  While this would clearly not be the case for most, I have never claimed to be normal.  That said, in hindsight, my bucket list may have looked something like this:

• Go camping
• Go to the museum
• Play at the park
• Catch lightning bugs
• Watch fireworks
• Learn to swim
• Pick strawberries on the farm
• Run around barefoot
• Ride a golf cart
• Play in the surf
• Build a sandcastle
• Watch the sunrise
• Watch the sunset
• Take a walk in the woods
• Have a playdate with new friends
• Have a playdate with old friends
• Go to the science center
• Learn to pump on the swings
• Visit a state park
• See a drive-in movie
• Learn to tie shoes
• Play frisbee
• Visit an animal park
• Learn about money
• Go to Idlewild
• Make s'mores over a fire
• Make a volcano
• Get a family picture taken
• Read a lot of books
• Ride bikes
• Taste cotton candy
• Eat fresh blackberries right from the bush
• Visit a friend in another state
• Go to the movies in a theater
• Have a sleepover
• Count by fives and tens
• Get faces painted
• Watch the Olympics
• Make cookies
• Go to a county fair
• Catch a fish
• Go down a Slip 'n Slide
• Make sidewalk chalk art
• Blow bubbles
• Blow kisses

I am happy to say that nearly every one of these things happened.
Though, we did just buy velcro shoes.

This is it

I wish there were some feature of this blog that would allow me to go directly from thoughts to print.  I could write a serious post while running ten miles.  Or even five miles.  And I have a ton to write about. 

But alas, the time I have spent running is without that ability, and while I do think of what I would write, I never really get figured out when I would write it.  And so I am stuck writing this twelve sentence post and calling it a night. 

School starts tomorrow.  I am sad to see summer end; it has been a ton of fun.  I am experiencing my usual back to school anxiety, my anxiety largely to do with time.  It is stressful to think about all I will have to cram in the evening and weekend hours, from grocery shopping to grading papers to spending quality time with my family to exercising.  But, as usual, we will find our groove.  I am lucky to have summer; I do not take it for granted one bit. 

The Parents' Pledge

As I was gathering the recycling to take to the curb this evening, I came across the April 2012 edition of Parents Magazine.  After months of it sitting around and me reading it bit by bit, here and there, it was time to get it out of the house.  But there was actually a reason that I hadn't tossed it already: on the inside of the cover was something they called "The Parents Pledge."  I have read it several times over the months since receiving the magazine in the mail, and despite the fact that it can be found at www.parents.com/lifetime-learning-pledge, I decided that I wanted to record it here in hopes that I will come to it again and remind myself of this pledge every now and then.  I really appreciate and enjoy the message it sends.  And it always helps to be reminded of these things.

The Parents Pledge

To help my kids develop a love of learning that will last a lifetime, I promise to:

encourage independent play
I'll give them the time and space to experiment and learn things on their own.  And if they get frustrated, I'll greet them with guidance, not answers.

hit the books
I'll read to my kids every day - even once they're old enough to do it by themselves.

nurture their natural curiosity
While a preschooler's nonstop questions can be wearying, I'll always try to respond with enthusiasm.

give them a game plan
If they're struggling with a task, I'll break it down into simple steps.

embrace setbacks
It's my job to recast disappointments as a chance to improve, and I'll inspire my kids to keep trying.

compliment them the right way
I'll be specific when doling out praise and focus on tier effort rather than the results.  Excessive ooh-ing and aah-ing can dampen their motivation.

support special interests
I'll help my kids find a passion or a hobby by exposing then to lots of things and by visiting museums, libraries, and historic places.

create little challenges
Asking how many red cars they can spot or how to spell a simple word will boost their sense of competence.  Plus it's fun.

practice the things I preach
They'll care more about academics if they see me reading for pleasure, calculating our budget, and researching a new subject on my own time.

tolerate messes
Learning isn't always neat and orderly.  A little chaos is a vital part of the process.

be my kids' top learning advocate
Whether they have problems with a homework project or simply need a pep talk, I'll strive to be as supportive as I can be.

Source:  Parent's  magazine, April 2012, inside cover.

How the dentist's fish was named

I was standing by the receptionists' desk discussing our next dental appointment date when Everly walked over and noticed the fish that they had swimming in a glass vase under the roots of a water-fed plant.  The curve of the glass distorted the image, leading Everly to comment on the large size of the fish.  I explained that the fish was actually the same kind of fish as hers, and that it was probably about the same size.  "But theirs is orange and mine is blue," she noted.  Yes, that's right.

We sat down to wait for our much anticipated appointment, but the fish was still on Ev's mind.  "What's their fish's name?" she inquired.  After telling her I didn't know, she decided that we should ask.  I told her that she was welcome to, and to my surprise, she said, "OK!"  I lifted her up just as the hygienist walked over to let us know that our time had arrived to head back for our appointment. 

"Everly has a question for you, if you don't mind."

The hygienist looked at her and without further prompting, Everly confidently asked, "What is your fish's name?"

The hygienist looked at her and said, "You know what?  We don't have a name for our fish!  Would you like to name it?"

Everly didn't hesitate. "Well, my fish's name is Dora," she said. "So, I think maybe your fish should be Boots."

I was kind of impressed, and the glance that the hygienist gave me told me that she was kind of impressed, as well.  She said to Everly, "That is a perfect name for him.  Boots it is!"  Everly proudly smiled.  And I proudly smiled.

On the way out after a great appointment, the receptionists thanked her for naming their fish, and Everly responded with a confident, "You're welcome!"  And it is that confidence that caught my attention and gave me a glimpse into the future.

I loved what I saw.

Story Time

I asked Everly if she would like to tell me a story about vacation.  She said no.  She wanted to tell me a story about a panda.  Here it is, followed by the rest of the conversation that ensued (I typed while we talked):

Everly: A panda came to life then played with his bea(r) friends.  Then the beas went to his house.  Then, um, the beas eat with him.  Then the bea went to somebody's house then that bea comed too!  Then they have a seepova!!  Then they, um, I forget the rest of my gory (story). 
(pause)
Then, they all lived together!!  They all live together now.  They all live together now.

THEN, um, their mom came.  Then they went to a gore (store)!

(To me): Did you already get they went to some body's house?

Me: Yes. I got that.

Everly: Then they, they, they went to anotha house.  They went to anotha house, mommy.  They just went to anotha house.

Me: Ok...

Everly: Then, they went to sim (swim) at somebody's house.  Then they said, "What's your name?  Your puppy's name and your name and your baby's name?"  My baby's name is Rea. 

Then, her name was, um...

Cortlan (chiming in): Julia.

Everly: Julia.  Then the puppy's name was...

Cortlan: Indigo.

Everly: Indigo. 

The end!  That's all my gory!  Isn't that a long gory?  It's done!!

Me: Nice! Now, can you tell me something about vacation that you remember?

Everly: Um. I don't know.

Me: What did you do?

Everly: Kickin board!!

Me: And?

Everly: Swimming! And watching a movie!

Me: What was your favorite part? 

Everly: Watching a movie! 

Me: Seriously?  That was your favorite part? We watched a movie the last thing while the cars were being backed to go home.  And that was your favorite part?

Everly: (reconsidering) No. Getting glow sticks.

Me:  That happened at the very end, too.  What about the rest of the week? 

Everly: I liked swimming.

Me: Do want to tell a story about when you were swimming?

Everly: No.

Me: Do you want to tell me about the turtle hospital?

Cortlan (chiming in, again): That was my favorite part.

Everly (very much wanting to be liker her brother): Mine, too!

Cortlan: Some of the turtles names: Boater.  He got hit by a boat. Uhhh...What are the rest of their names?

Me: I think there was Lolly, right?

Cortlan: Yeah.  I don't know a lot about him.  Or is that a girl?  Is that the blind one?

Me: No, I think Lolly is the girl, and not the blind one.  What else? 

Cortlan: The blind one.

Me: What about the blind one? 

Cortlan: The blind one is blind.  What's his name? 

Me: I don't remember. 

Cortlan: Then, well.  One of the turtles got hit by the boat's propeller.  One of the turtles was blind.  One lost one flipper.

Me: Ok.  Anything else?

Cortlan: Can I tell a story?

Me: Sure.

Cortlan: Once upon a time, there was a turtle. He had a huge family and....(giggling, because he is about to say the same thing that Everly did when telling her story) I forget the rest of my story. And. And. And. And they all went home. And then they went to a motorcycle shop and then they all went to their grandma's house and then they saw the new pool.  (very much wanting the same attention as his sister) Did you get that mommy?

Me:  I got it.

Cortlan: Can you type that part?

Me:  I did.

Cortlan : And then they flew up on a magic carpet all the way up to the sky. Then they saw a magic genie lamp and they picked it up and flew all the way back down. Then they shaked the lamp and then a huge genie came out. And then on the magic carpet, they said "Fly, magic carpet, fly!" and that's how they got back home. They said all of their names and they said, "Star light. Is it bright? I wish that I had a fairy tonight." The end.

Gotta love story time with a three and five year old.

He said, She said

I had to laugh the other day when I heard a scream and then Cortlan say, "Everly scared me out of heck!"

I had to worry yesterday when, after Cortlan asked Everly why she liked shopping so much, her response was, "I just dream about it."

Stained fingertips

My alarm went off at 6 AM this morning, as it has every day this summer.  I pressed the snooze alarm; ten minutes later I pressed it again.  It is nice to have that luxury.  It is also nice to wake before the kids, get the cup of coffee that is waiting for me thanks to a programable coffee pot, and go sit on the porch or deck to enjoy it. 

This morning, the air was cool and crisp...a warm welcome after the stifling heat and humidity of the heat wave that only broke on Sunday.  I believe it was seven consecutive days of above 90 degree temps that led us to this point - a point where an 80 degree day feels like a cool relief.  I will take it either way - in the 90 degree temps, we enjoyed the pool tremendously.  We also enjoyed the air conditioning every now and then, like when we took a trip to Chuck E. Cheese's for the afternoon.

But today was a perfect day to be outside.  We were at the park by 9 AM...the kids rode bikes, I ran.  We cleaned the car, inside and out.  We swung on the swings...Cort is finally getting the hang of pumping his legs.  

And then we got on our sneakers and headed to the woods for a walk.  Our neighbors told us they had found blackberry bushes, and we even got to taste one of the berries last night as a tease.  Today, the kids were ready to claim their own.  As we got deeper into the woods, we were concerned we wouldn't find any.  But as the denser trees cleared into an overgrown field with high bushes and plants of all sorts, we spotted our first prize. 

With our red Solo cups, we collected berry after berry, staining our fingertips as we went.  I told the kids about my berry picking adventures as a kid and told them how much I enjoyed walking in the woods.  "Me, too!" they both responded. 

Honestly, I am not sure which of us enjoyed it more today.

Water love

It is hard to believe that at the beginning of the summer, neither of my kids would leave the steps of the pool and neither would attempt to swim, even with flotation devices on.

It is hard to believe that Everly, for the first week of swimming lessons, cried and had to be pulled out of the group.  

And it is hard to believe that, until about two weeks ago, Cortlan wouldn't jump in the water without holding onto someone's hands.

It is amazing what time and exposure can do....and patience.  I am learning to not rush things.  I am learning there is a balance between pushing and waiting and just letting things happen.  Sometimes that is hard, but I am learning.

Happy 4th of July!

Napless Idlewild

Part of me kind of feels as though I have been neglecting this blog, but the reality is that I have way less computer and relaxation time than I used to.  My kids used to religiously take naps from about 1PM until 3PM or later...every day.  Now, we are lucky to get them to stay in their rooms for an hour, and the likelihood that they sleep is about 50/50.  Actually, it is Cortlan who more often falls asleep; for whatever reason, Everly has always seemed to thrive on less sleep than him.  (I clearly remember the 15 minute catnaps when she was a baby that had me pulling my hair out.)  So, while I used to get things done for an hour or so and then still have an hour left of to write this blog or read or otherwise relax and sometimes accomplish something during nap time, this summer I am generally not even getting a load of laundry done and my kitchen cleaned from lunch by the time the kids are out of their rooms again.

The reduction and soon (I predict) elimination of nap time has its positives and negatives.  On the positive side, I do feel much more confident that we will make it through a day of activity without complete meltdowns now.  Thus, I am less apt to experience the customary anxiety when we plan a day away from home.  In fact, last week, we spent a beautiful day at Idlewild with no incidents whatsoever, and stayed longer than we ever had before.  The kids rode most of the kids' rides, we walked through Storybook Forest, played in the ball pit, and went on Mr. Roger's Neighborhood Trolley ride where we invited everyone to "Come along, come along, to the castle hug 'n song!"  We were also able to ride most of the "big kid" rides.  Everly went on her first roller coaster and Ferris Wheel rides, plus a number of spinny rides.  The weather was great, and the day was nearly perfect.  The only bad thing was that my battery died on my camera after only a few pictures.

Of course, the motorcycle ride was one of the first rides of the day!

The kids surprised John and me by excitedly joining the crowd at the Thomas show.

For the first time, they were actually able to pull the handle hard enough to ride high on the airplane ride (though this pic was taken before they started).