Hardly irrelevant

Things can go along so nicely for a while and then suddenly it seems as though everything changes.  I am overwhelmed with change right now, and that somehow became very evident today as I was reminded that if I am not changing, I am irrelevant.  On some level, of course, I get that - I am a teacher.  But when nothing seems to be staying the same - from things at home to friendships to seemingly everything at work including my relationships there - it can become a little much, you know?   I truly have gotten better at embracing change.  But sometimes, I miss things that used to be.  And it hurts to think that I might be irrelevant.  

I so looked forward to seeing my kids today as they got off of the bus.  Despite how they are changing, they are still willing to give me some good hugs.  It is hard to feel irrelevant when I am with them.  And I do love the fall leaves changing.  And running.  So today I decided to forego our usual after school routine, and instead loaded the bikes in the car and headed to the park.  

It is hard to not feel a little better when I can go for a run on a beautiful fall afternoon with my kids riding their bikes alongside me.

Random great thing about my kids...

They generally let the dog out and/or in without even being prompted.  Elly goes to the door, indicates she needs to go out (or come in) and the kids just take care of it.  In the rare instance when I catch it and they don't and I am in the middle of something, a quick "Can you let the dog out?" is all that is needed.  No complaints.

When you feel like you are in the middle of a hurricane, you've gotta take the small victories.

And it turned out pretty okay.

I finished reading The Fault in Our Stars by John Green last night.  Even though I was pretty sure what was coming and I braced myself as best I could, despite any (or no) resolve, I cried and cried.  And I thought about the Universe.  I have a love-hate relationships with books like that.  I read them few and far between.

I went to school with puffy eyes this morning.  No make-up could help.   But I truly enjoyed my classes today.  The kids - with the exception of one - were great.  It is some other stuff that happened at work that I am really trying to not take personally that kinda put me on tilt.

And then there was the doctor's appointment after school that went pretty much as expected, but not how I wanted.  And the hour drive home. 

But on the way home, I got to talk to one of my best friends - who I don't talk to nearly enough.  And I made it home before I thought I would - because the doctor was on time and efficient and I didn't hit the worst part of rush hour - and so I was able to stop and see the last parts of Everly's gymnastics class.  And Cortlan was nearly done with his homework - a record for him.

We had pizza for dinner.

And after dinner, with my work clothes still on, and the closest-to-the-door footwear I could find for the occasion - my pretty mud boots that have yet to be worn in the mud and, in fact, still have the elastic thing that attaches the two boots to each other - I went to the covered porch area to cut John's hair.  It started to drizzle.  While we were covered and protected from the rain, Everly seized the opportunity to get her rain boots and rain jacket on and grab her umbrella.  And Cortlan was sitting in the wagon that is now too small for him, reading out loud from Tie Your Socks and Clap Your Feet - a book of mixed up poems by Lenny Hort that he asked his teacher if he could bring home from her classroom because he so wanted to share it with us, and she let him.

And I looked around.  And I thought about how, sometimes, the Universe just wants to be noticed.

And I noticed my beautiful, silly, full-of-personality daughter playing in the rain with her eclectic assortment of rain gear.  I noticed my deep-thinking, passionate son laughing and reading to us while sitting in a wagon because he couldn't wait to share with us the funny poems that he discovered.  I looked down and noticed the blue poncho over my husband's shoulders.  And the elastic between my pretty mud boots.

Happy, Universe?  Yeah, I feel a little better, too.

First Day of School

This morning, I dropped my little girl off for her first day of Kindergarten.  Her proud big brother led the way, confident and smiling.  Everly was thrilled and acted like a pro.

There were no tears today - I think I held it together pretty well.  But it is hard for me to believe...kindergarten...really?  And second grade?  Sheesh.  They look so grown up.

I thought about them all day.

I left work early so that I could be sure to be at the bus stop on time.

The bus was 25 minutes late, but I stood there in the blazing sun, camera ready.

And my baby girl was the first one off, and she ran right to me with a big smile and gave me a big hug.

And I felt happy.  So happy.  I wouldn't have missed that for the world.

Cortlan was next...

Guess who he sat next to on the bus?  Yep.  Everly.

And they seemed somehow bigger to me after 4pm.  More mature.  Taller, even.  But definitely more grown up.

I try not to say "Can time please stop?"  I try not to want old moments back.  I know every stage can be a good stage.  But I just want this one to stay for a while.

Still making me chuckle...

Yesterday, Cortlan, Everly, Elly and I took a walk to a nearby neighborhood where one of Cortlan's friends live.  We dropped him off for a play date and Everly, Elly, and I headed back home.  When we got home, we couldn't immediately find John.  He wasn't in the house or the garage, yet his car was in the driveway.  Looking out the window, we couldn't see him, either.  Everly's response?

"Maybe he got MAN-napped!!"

(Turns out, he was cleaning the grill.)

In the books...

Well, week one of summer is already in the books, and I already feel so refreshed.  It was a productive week, and a fun week, with a lot of silliness thrown in.

We started the summer learning ticket system again, which the kids were really excited about this year.  In fact, whereas last year, Cortlan hardly banked any tickets (he would earn just enough to use for the TV shows he wanted to watch), this year, he has caught on to the idea that he can earn more to do more things.  And now that he is a reader, he has a whole new way to earn tickets.  In the first week, they were able to earn enough to get a movie and ice cream.  We will see how things continue.

Speaking of reading, Everly is picking up on reading at a surprising pace.  Her interest in doing what her brother can do is so high, it is amazing.  Yesterday, she read to me Buzz! Said the Bee, Cookie's Week, and two beginning reader books based on the nursery rhymes Hickory, Dickory, Doc and The Cow Jumped Over the Moon, all with very little help from me.  It is exciting to see her excitement in learning both reading and math.

Between the four of us, we had several appointments, including an allergist appointment for Cortlan.  Lucky him, he began allergy shots this week.  His allergies have been so bad, we are hopeful that these shots will help in the long run and he won't need to be on three medications per day (that are already losing some effectiveness).

We went to the zoo with friends, which was awesome.  Seeing the elephants get a bath was a highlight, and watching the polar bears play under water was awesome.

We also went ice skating for the first time, thanks to a friend who is taking lessons and invited Cortlan as his buddy for "bring a buddy day."  We stayed after the lesson for a bit so Everly could get a chance to try it out, too.  The experience was comical to say the least, but the kids would love to go back again some day.

As I always try to do during the first week, I did get my windows and screens cleaned, thanks in part to my kids, who did pretty well with the whole teamwork thing.

We are excited to see what the rest of summer has in store.  I am certain we will get a few more items checked off of Cortlan's bucket list.

Someone else said it better...

You know what's awesome?

Falling asleep to a good book...

...and being able to read it on your own.

My, how much has changed this year.

A different perspective

Years ago, there was a ride called the Rotor at a local amusement park.  While on this ride, which was similar to a circular room on the inside, it would feel as though you were being pushed into the wall by some mysterious force as the room rotated around.  So great was this apparent force that you could turn yourself completely upside down and still be "stuck" to the wall.  While inside this room, it was hard to explain what you were feeling in any other way aside from that there was something pushing you into the wall.

However, if you were to remove yourself from the situation and find yourself with a bird's eye view, you would see something very different happening.  In fact, you would see that the people in the ride are not being pushed into the wall at all, but rather, the wall is simply causing the people to change direction.  The wall is keeping the people from doing what they would otherwise be doing - that is, traveling in a straight line.  The wall is exerting an inward force on the riders.  The sense of being pushed into the wall is a matter of perspective.  In reality, the riders' inertia carries them in a straight line, and without the wall pushing them inward, that is exactly where they would be going.  Imagine if the wall suddenly gave way.

Sometimes, when you are in a situation, fully immersed, it is hard - impossible, even - to see what is really going on. Sometimes, it takes an outside perspective, a bird's eye view, to really clarify what is happening.

Sometimes, your inertia is carrying you forward, and the wall is there, thankfully, to change your direction.

Love Muffin

I saw this in Everly's journal yesterday at her school and I laughed and laughed.  "I love my daddy.  Mommy calls him Love Muffin."  There is a story here, and that I call him "Love Muffin" isn't quite true.

In our new car, my phone can connect via Bluetooth and I am able to call people using voice prompts.  We know a lot of people named John, so any time that I call my husband, I had to go through several prompts to get to his number.  Initially, I thought, "I need to put his last name into my phone so I can get to his name on the first try."  But, while Everly was in the car, I said, "I need to put Daddy's name in as something other than John."  Then, to be funny, I said, "How about 'Love Muffin'?"  I had never, ever called him that, but she thought it was hysterical.  Frankly, I did, too.  So, as soon as I got to a red light on that very ride to school, I changed his name in my phone to "Love Muffin".  Then, I called him.

Call Love Muffin, I prompted.

The phone replied in an electronic woman's voice:  Calling Love Muffin.

We laughed and laughed.

John answered, "Hello?"

Everly said over the speaker phone, "Hi LOVE MUFFIN!!  Hahahahahahaha!!!!"

And so the journal entry, which I am sure her teachers enjoyed.  (I had to fill them in on the back story.)

My biggest fear

My biggest fear in life is that I won't get to see my children grow old as I grow old.
Sometimes, that fear is paralyzing.
Sometimes, I feel that I want to hold my arms around them forever.
But in my efforts to protect them, I cannot stifle them.

Someone else said it best...

Learning new things all the time!

Bridges

"Mommy!  Watch me do a bridge!!"
Ok.  Let's see.

"Mommy!  Can I show you my bridge?"
Yep!  

"Mommy!  I am going to do a bridge.  Watch!"
I'm watching, sweetheart.

Thankful

Today, I am thankful for bright spots on dark days.  And they are there...in the feelings of relief, in the hugs, in the news of a college roommate's pregnancy (twins!), in the beginning of the end regarding my accident, in an e-mail, in a conversation, and in the plants grown from seeds that I will bring home today.

Mother's Day

Mother's Day was fantastic.

I got to sleep in.  And then when I was laying there about to get up, Everly popped into my room, as excited as could be, saying, "Don't get out of bed!  Don't get out of bed!  We want to bring you breakfast!"

So they did.

And then they left me to eat my pancakes by myself in my bed.  Which was a little weird, I have to admit... Never having had breakfast in bed before, and having no TV in my room, and eating pancakes by myself, that is.  But it was super sweet, and the pancakes were great.

Once I was done, I headed to the kitchen where a beautiful planter with flowers for outside was sitting.  And cards, one of which was from Cortlan and contained clues for a scavenger hunt:

I loved searching for the clues and the treasure of artwork that I found at the end:

I had been wondering what they were going to do with the tracings of my hands that they asked for...

I think that Everly was motivated to make this after seeing what Cortlan had brought home for me.  She did it with absolutely no assistance.

I opened another gift - some candles and a couple of things for the kitchen, and then headed out with a friend for a run.  It was a beautiful morning.

And a beautiful day for a picnic and a hike at my favorite place:

And then an impromptu get together with our moms at our house:

It was a perfect day with a perfect combination of my favorite things.

Everly's Evening Joke #2

Since two people have asked, I suppose a translation is in order:

What did the lamb have for lunch?  A baaaaaa-loney sandwich!

Thankful

Today, I am thankful for sunshine and blue skies.  I am thankful for an eye exam that resulted in no glasses for the littlest one.  For a sympathetic friend to sit with at dinner while our children ran around.  For my mom, who was willing to pick Everly up at the restaurant and put her to bed while I had Cortlan at soccer, even though we didn't end up taking her up on it.  For a playground within eyesight of soccer practice and, again, that sunshine and blue skies so that we could enjoy it.  Today, I am thankful for a daughter who thanked me for taking care of her and a son who told me I am the best mom, despite my stress this evening.  I am thankful that my children are now sleeping peacefully.  And I am thankful for a husband that will be home tomorrow.

It was a good day...

We had some birthdays to celebrate, some swinging to do, and a nice long adventure through the woods...

What's not to love?

My poet (?)

Cortlan has really been coming into his own this year at school and I have been impressed with all he has learned this year.  But, the same is true for Everly.

We get daily reports e-mailed to us about Everly's day, and this was part of yesterday's:

I have to admit, I was a little impressed by the poem she wrote:

Happy Birthday, Dad!

Love you lots!! :)

Everly's Evening Joke #1

Superheros

It was a beautiful morning for a Superhero Run and my family was proud to be among the 1500 or so people who raised money and came out to support the victims of child abuse through The Superhero Foundation and CASA (court appointed special advocates) for children.  This year, the four of us ran the 1K, with John and Cortlan out front and Everly and me not too far behind them.

P.S. A huge shout-out and thanks to my Aunt Jozia and Uncle Bob, who came out to the race to cheer us on and take photos.  Thanks so much for your support!  It was awesome to see you!! :)

Pinning on bibs

Some warm up jumping jacks

starting line selfie

Cortlan was quick!  Next year, we are thinking 5K...

Everly got a little dramatic near the end, but she never stopped running.

We made it!

Feeling strong!

Superhero Strong!