Another year older

Some random thoughts and things related to my birthday...

• I turned 35 last week, and was surprisingly emotional about turning another year older.  But I am looking forward to the unfolding of a new year full of growth and possibility, and I can't help but to reflect on how blessed I am.
• I have fantastic and thoughtful friends and family, and thanks to them, I will be running safely and in good style in the months to come, I will have plenty to read about running with a two-year subscription to Runner's World, and my toes will soon get some much needed attention.  I will have tomatoes to eat while sitting on my back deck, listening to my wind chimes, admiring my flowers, with a cool drink in hand.  Oh, and I currently have a beautiful bouquet of flowers sitting on my desk and a new candle on my counter.   I have so much to be thankful for, and I am not even referring to the gifts.
• John got me an early birthday present and gave it to me in April - a new camera, which I love and have used almost daily.  This is why I was surprised to see a present for me on the counter when I got home from work on my birthday.  I was so touched by the gift - my new Willow Tree figurines of "The Spirited Child" and "The Caring Child" are perfect and look perfect on my entryway shelf.  And the gardening shovel that the kids picked out is much needed, as I used Everly's mini shovel to do much of my planting this year.
• I got to eat my current favorite ice cream - Graham Central Station - on my birthday, and it was delicious.  (This year, I called ahead to make sure they had it before we made the trip.)  And speaking of trips, the evening was made extra special by Everly going head over heals, ice cream flying through the air, knee bleeding, elbow bleeding.  But at least the ice cream landed bowl side down.  At least, that is, until she started to eat it and then sent it flying onto the ground, covering the top of her strawberry ice cream in gravel sprinkles.  Fortunately, the girls at the counter shed pity on us and were willing to give us another bowl for free.  And ice cream does wonders in making the tears go away.
• This year, I feel like my birthday lasted for days.  Friends who we don't see nearly enough came to stay with us for the weekend.  I got to sing with the neighbors on their porch, guitar accompaniment and all. (I wish I had been given the gift of a great voice, but at least I have been given kind and tolerant friends.)  I got to hang by my parent's pool on Monday for a cookout with my family.
• I feel that at 35 I am still finding myself.  My guess is that won't really end for me.  But when I look around, I am so happy to find myself where I am and with whom I am.  Life is good.

Almost...

Sometimes people say to me things like "I don't know how you do it", referring to me working full time, running, writing a blog (or two), and more, while trying to be a good wife and mother (and friend and sister and daughter and coworker and teacher).  I usually smile politely.  Inside, I am often thinking, "Um. I don't.  I commonly fail miserably at one thing or another, while trying to keep several other things up in the air.  For example, I totally forgot to sign my kids up for swimming lessons. The dishes in the sink have been there for going on three days.  And because I work, there are plenty of things that I miss or can't do, like have tea parties with my kids at 10AM or make doctor's appointments without totally stressing out about what time it is going to have to be.  But, I do what I do because I have to and because I want to. And you could and would do it too, if you had to and/or you wanted to.  I am nothing special and there are plenty of people who do more than me."

The truth is, when I think about it, I really do have a lot of irons in the fire.  And sometimes, honestly, perhaps too many.  But, I know where my priorities are and I know what requires my attention and what can wait and, generally, I am able to find some sort of balance and make it work.  Lately, though, I have been all out of whack, and I am not entirely sure why.

But I will tell you that today I looked at my calendar and I realized how close the end of the school year is and I thought to myself, "At least there is an end in sight."  And if it weren't for that, right now I honesly don't know how I would do it.

Mother's Day 2012

I was standing in my bathroom on Sunday, fixing my hair, listening to the conversation happening in the living room between Cortlan, now five, and Everly, now 3, and it wasn't too pretty.  Suddenly, I heard things crash off of what I believe was the coffee table to the floor, and I could only deduce that it was Everly who had done it and that it was Cortlan's toys that went a flyin'.  It wasn't too hard to figure out based on the conversation that ensued, which went something like this:

Cortlan: EVERLY!!! Why did you do that?

(no response)

Cortlan: Fine.  I just don't care about you anymore.  I don't like you and I don't care about you.

(This was the first time that he had used the "I don't care about you" phrase, but not the "I don't like you" phrase, unfortunately.  There was still no response.)

Cortlan: Do you know what?  I am going to e-mail Santa Claus or write him a letter or tell Mommy to write him a letter and tell him that you shouldn't get anymore toys ever.  And I might break your toys so you don't have any.

(This got her attention.)

Everly: NOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!

Cortlan: Well, you shouldn't do that then.

On one hand, I wanted to go in there and discipline them.  On the other, I wanted them to figure it out themselves.  On one hand, I wanted to cringe at the words.  On the other, I wanted to laugh.

This parenting thing sure isn't getting any easier.  And no, my Mother's Day wasn't perfect.  But I loved it despite the stinging words and the rain that fell from the sky.  I loved it because of my handmade cards and my special breakfast.  I loved it because I got to spend time with my family, including my own mom and my mother-in-law.  I loved it because I didn't clean or do laundry.  (Ok, that isn't true - I did have to move the clothes from the washer to the dryer.)  I loved it because I read the newspaper in silence on the sunporch and fell asleep on the papisan and didn't feel the least bit guilty. 

I loved it because I am a mom.

Pittsburgh Half Marathon

Well, I did it.  I trained for a race through the winter, injury and all, and this morning I ran the Pittsburgh Half Marathon.  And right now, I am sitting on the deck enjoying my runners high on a beautiful day, relaxing while the kids are asleep.

This was my second half marathon, my first being last September in Erie.  And the two races couldn't have been much more different.

I had been nervous for a little over a week, since my last "at pace" run.  That run was supposed to be five miles at the pace I hoped to run the race, and those five miles weren't nearly as easy I had hoped they would be.  In comparison to the training I was able to do last summer (waking up early in the AM to run, not one injury holding me back, completed most of my scheduled miles), my training for this race was not quite up to par (running in the evening after working all day, three weeks off in February due to injury, then a gradual ease back into training, missing many miles).  There were definitely more challenges to overcome in preparation for this race...and that is not an excuse of any sort, but it is exactly what led me to have no real idea at what pace I should hope to run today's 13.1 miles. 

The mental aspect of running long distances, and the planning and thought that goes into training and running a "smart" race, is still something that I am working on and that doesn't come easy for me.  I ran my race in the fall in ideal conditions on a completely flat course in about 1:44.  When trying to decide on my goal for this race, I took into consideration many things:  It would be a more difficult course, it would be warmer, and I hadn't trained as well; but it would be a larger race with much larger crowds and potentially more energy to push me along.  I set my sights high on a 1:45 goal but knew I would be very happy with a much more realistic 1:50.

They were giving away free pace tattoos at the Expo...I went with an ambitious one.

The morning started off well.  I rode down to the city with a new friend and a friend of her husband's and we got street parking (for free!) right near the baseball stadium. We walked to the bag check with plenty of time to spare and made our way to the bathrooms and then corral B.  (For reference, there were no corrals in Erie.)  The excitement at the starting line was palpable...we were near a parking garage and people were on all levels of the garage hanging over the rails ready to cheer us on, and cheer they did.  The starting gun went off and so did we, en masse.

I remember in Erie starting off and finishing my first mile too fast and with ease.  I didn't want to do that, but when I looked down at my watch and my pace, I was surprised that I was going slower than my goal pace.  That was a little worrisome, being only the first mile, but I spotted the 3:30 marathon pace group ahead and established my plan.  I would try to stay with them until mile 7, reassess, and speed up if I could.

Through the race  - over bridges, through neighborhoods and business districts, under overpasses - there were crowds of people lining the streets cheering us on and many bands rocking out tunes.  I tried to focus on the 3:30 sign that the pacer was carrying, while simultaneously avoiding tripping over curbs, manhole covers, and other people's feet and also trying to avoid being elbowed or elbowing anyone.  The 3:30 pack was tight.  But I was happy to find a groove.

The miles went on.  I hardly listened to my music.  I was happy to not have too many hills to run.  At mile 7, I felt pretty good and braved passing the pacer.  At around 8.5 miles in, the pacer was passing me.  Ok, then.  I resolved to keep him in my sights.  At mile 10, he started to pull away.  No, wait...that was me falling behind.

I was struggling a bit, but was hopeful...I had managed to gain a touch of time somewhere along the way, so my slowing by a touch would still be ok if I could maintain my new pace and then kick it in at the end.  That became my new plan.

At mile 11, the marathoners stayed right, the half-marathoners stayed left.  I lost my pacer, but would have anyway.  As I crossed the bridge, I hit a wall.  I looked at my watch and saw I was going a full minute and forty-five seconds slower than my anticipated pace.  I willed my legs to go faster; they wouldn't.  And then came the largest uphill of the race.  Awesome.  I was swearing at the hill.  I asked a police officer on the side of the road to make it stop.  He told me I was almost there.  My thoughts went to Erie for a second, remembering me jubilantly singing along, cranking up my pace at this point in the race and the guy I passed telling me he hated me.  I hated my Erie self, too, in that moment.

Finally, the top of the hill came, and so did mile 12.  A little more than one mile to go, and it was literally all downhill from there.  I had slowed for the better part of a mile and a half.  My legs had recovered just enough to let me get down the hill at a decent clip and recover some of the lost time.  I took my ear buds out and soaked it all in.  I can't tell you how happy I was to see that finish line.  I did my best to push through.

Hot, sweaty, gross and not looking too pretty, but damn proud!

I finished my race in 1:46.43 and I am extremely happy with that time.  I feel that I left it all out on the course and came in on E, and I can't really think of anything I would have done differently during the race itself. I walked through the finishers chute, got my picture taken, grabbed a Smiley Cookie, some water, and some fruit, and just as I got my wits about me to start looking for somewhere to stretch and meet my friend, I heard, "Joyce!"  It was John and the kids, and I was so glad to see them...I wasn't sure if they would be coming down to the race at all; the logistics got pretty tricky and it was going to be a game-time decision.  Everly wasn't interested in being my monkey (I don't blame her - I was so sweaty), but having my family there at the finish was awesome.  I stretched, we walked around a bit, and then headed home...with the windows down because I stunk so bad I was repulsing even myself.

So happy to see my family at the finish...a great end to the event.

All in all, it was a pretty good race - it was extremely well-organized, the crowds were great, the volunteers awesome.  I challenged myself and, for the most part, came through.  I am proud.  But at the moment, I am also glad it is over!!

________________________________________
My results: (updated...they fixed my division)

Time: 1:46:43
Pace: 8:08.4 min/mile
Division Place: 47/1302
Female Place: 286/7432
Overall Place: 1058/12,103

Superhero Run 2012

About a year ago, when Cortlan was four, he ran his first race - a 1K that he and I "trained" for together.  Not long after I had registered us for that race, I had heard of another race for which everyone participating dressed as superheroes.  The tag line for the Superhero race was "Every child needs a hero, but abused children need superheroes."  I thought the race was for a fantastic cause, and thought to myself, "Next year, we will run this race." 

The time came a couple months ago to register for this year's race, and I jumped at the chance.  Knowing Cortlan's current love of superheroes, I was sure he would be all for it; he was.  Everly caught wind of the fact that we were going to run a race and begged for us to let her run it as well.  She wanted to train; she wanted to run.  How could I say no?  I registered all three of us.

We woke on the morning of the race to temperatures far below seasonal - it was in the low 30's when we got to the park.  Despite that fact, we left our coats in the car and superhero-walked it to near the starting line.  Cortlan had decided at the last minute that he wanted to be Bumblebee, I was Robin (thanks to a great friend lending me her Halloween costume!), and Everly, who was thrilled to have gotten a race t-shirt (that could easily be a dress on her) insisted on wearing it and the cape that we got with our entry fee.

Pinning on the bibs

We were cold, but there was a lot going on.  We enjoyed seeing the various mascots from local sports teams, listening to the music, and seeing all of the other costumes.  Soon enough it was time to head to the starting line.

Stretching a bit (and trying to stay warm) before the start

We were all very excited for the start of the race and when it began, we took off.  The three of us ran together for a bit to start, and then before I knew it, Cortlan was pulling away, as Everly and I were too slow for him.  He peered back over his shoulder and I encouraged him to go for it.  The course was an out-and-back course, and Cortlan was to the turn around point and headed back to the finish before we were even close to turning around.  I cheered him on as he passed us going the opposite direction.  I didn't see him again until Everly and I crossed the finish line.

Cortlan running it home

Everly fussed a bit while she was running, and at one point, I thought she was going to bail.  I asked her why she was crying - her fingers were cold (so were mine!).  I showed her how to tuck her hands in her sleeves to protect them a bit (no buttercups in our family!...ok, I just forgot to grab gloves...) and as we reached the turn-around, she seemed to gain speed and confidence.  Approaching the finish line, the spectators were yelling and cheering, and Everly was smiling and determined.  I actually got a bit emotional hearing all of the cheering for her and seeing her reaction.

Everly and I nearing the finish

Everly has already started talking about running another race and I think Cortlan has a newfound sense of confidence after running this one.  I love that they are enjoying something that I love so much.  And I am very proud of both of them.

My little superheroes!

Next up...The Pittsburgh Half Marathon on Sunday!