Someone else said it better...

Someone else said it best...

Summer reading...and loving.

I finally picked up a book this summer.  It has been a while, and boy do I miss the days of laying around and reading whenever I felt like it.  We have been on the go quite a bit and have been having a ton of fun (more to come on all of that).

Anyway, I am reading Extremely Loud & Incredibly Close by Jonathan Safran Foer, simply because I found it recently on my shelf and remembered that a friend had lent it to me last year.  I should give it back, but there is a reason that I have it.  I am a bit more than halfway through, and am not 100% sure how I feel about it yet...I find it intriguing and somehow personal.

But I just read a line that caught my attention, and I just wanted to write it down.  I want to think about it some more later.

"It's the tragedy of loving, you can't love anything more than something you miss."

Thought-provoking.

What's on my mind...

• Sometimes, you just have to let things go. As the quote says, "Holding resentment is like drinking poison and expecting the other person to die." Think about it.  SO true.

• I don't like a lot of drama in my life. I typically avoid it like the plague. However, every now and then, drama keeps it interesting. And I am never opposed to listening to other people's drama.

• I like being a working mom. I don't like having to do my shopping at 9PM because there isn't another hour of the day that it can happen. 

• I have become an extreme multitasker out of necessity. If I am doing something, it is not uncommon for me to be doing at least two things. For example, I sort the mail while cooking dinner. I grade papers while making copies. This is not entirely bad, but I have made the recent realization that this multitasking is largely to blame for my clutter and disorganized state. I used to be able to start a job and work it through to completion, including any clean up involved. Now, I am constantly switching between and among tasks, leaving many unfinished until I get to them again later. Thus, the half sorted pile of mail (didn't want dinner to burn), the half graded stack of papers sitting on my desk (copies only take so long to make, and at least I got a few of those papers graded), and this blog (written in two minute chunks of time).

• Though I still regularly fly by the seat of my pants, I never regret taking the time to meal plan and/or prep the crock pot. The pay off is always there. 

• Sometimes, homework assignments are awesome. Like when Cortlan was assigned to collect fall leaves for a project at school earlier this week, which meant that we had to go for a walk on a beautiful fall day and look at all the beautiful, colorful leaves on the trees and on the ground and pick the ones that were just perfect. This assignment took a while to complete. Darn.

I hope

A measurable amount of rain has fallen in this area twenty-seven out of the last thirty-three days.  Breaking it down, there has been rain every day in May so far and twenty-four days in April.  I am typically not one to complain about weather...I like a nice variety: snow and rain, freezing and sweltering temps alike.  But at a point when we are supposed to have emerged from the cold, dark winter, it would be nice to have a bit of sunshine to welcome us.  The weather has certainly affected my mood lately, but the weather isn't the only thing.  Maybe I have been paying too much attention to negativity or maybe I have read too many blogs and Facebook status updates, but lately, the way people have been reacting to a large variety of topics has mystified me, angered me, stumped me, and well, irritated me.  I am not going to get into those particular topics, though I have started several blog posts about them only to (thankfully) pull back the reigns.  Instead, I am going to take what I have seen and read and heard and attempt to be constructive. 

To my children:

It is hard being a parent.  I came close to including "in this day and age," or "working" but, no.  It is hard being a parent.  Period.  As you grow up, please realize that I am doing the best I can to prepare you for life.  Every parent has difficult decisions to make about what is best for him or her.  Though I plan to guide you, I am not going to be a helicopter parent.  There are lessons you will have to learn through experience that may not be pleasant for either of us.  And as much as I would sometimes like to, I am not going to shelter you from the world.  At least for a while, your father and I probably have the means and ability to create our own world for you, one in which you rarely have to be exposed to negativity, pressure, responsibility, bullies, mixed messages sent by the media, and rules that are set by other people.  But I believe that you have to learn to navigate the world we live in, as it is our reality.  I believe you have to learn to "play the game," whether the game is perfect or not.  I believe you have to learn how to deal with all types of people, not just the ones we hand-pick for you.  And while I have no idea how you will turn out, I have high hopes for you.

You will someday leave my care and guidance, and I hope that at that time you will have the confidence and knowledge to make good decisions.  I hope that you will have a strong sense of self and awareness of right and wrong.  I hope I will have been able to take advantage of the many teachable moments that present themselves and that you will know how to handle adversity, that you will know what it means to be responsible. 

As you grow up, I hope that you have opinions and can express them with confidence.  But I hope that you realize that, in most cases, there is no "right" way to do things, and what may be right to you may not work in someone else's situation.  I hope that you are open-minded and willing to listen.  You do not have to agree with everyone, but my hope is that you will be respectful, even in your disagreement.

Whether next door or across the globe, not everyone is living the same circumstances.  Not everyone has had the same experiences as you, and you have not experienced what everyone else has.  I hope you will not judge.  And I hope you will not begrudge, either.  It is ok for someone else to have things that you don't; you certainly have things that others do not, as well.  Be happy for people.  And strive for what you want.

I hope you will at least make an effort to obtain all of the facts about a situation before you get angry.  I also hope you will not hold resentment.  (A great quote by an anonymous person:  "Holding resentment is like drinking poison and expecting the other person to die.")

I hope you will carefully think about who you might hurt or what you may be revealing before you hit "send" or "update."  Technology is great, but certainly has its shortcomings, too.
 
I hope you will be a giver in life, and not a taker.

I hope you will learn to see the positive, try not to be cynical, trust. 

I hope you appreciate what others do for you, and return the favor.  Or at the very least, be grateful and express that gratitude.

I hope you find happiness and are happy with your self.

I hope you find love and love your self.

I hope you love life, and enjoy it to the fullest.

I hope you try, and realize that I do, too.

Happy Anniversary to me!

Know what's weird?  Day by day nothing seems to change.  But pretty soon everything's different.
~Calvin from Calvin and Hobbes

It is hard for me to believe, but one year ago today, I wrote my first post. And 103 posts later, I can't agree more with Calvin.

This has been a revolutionary year for me: one of reflection and realization and much appreciated moments. One of growth. 

And to a large extent, change.

In many day-by-day kinds of ways, things haven't changed much.  But when I look back at earlier posts and see my children one year ago, hear their voices, and recall those moments, I see that things are most definitely different.  Time changes most things...especially children.  They are growing so quickly.

When I read that first post again and think about myself, I realize I have grown, too.  In that first post, I was trying to make sense of a feeling, a need to be better in a bigger sense of the word...and I do think that I have made progress towards becoming a better life-liver, life-appreciator, life-lover.  I have not changed the world, but I have come to realize my place in it a little better.  Writing this blog has helped me keep a certain focus.  It has forced me to look at things from a different angle.  It has been therapeutic. It has been a place to record memories and a place to share.

Also, writing and thinking as I have for the last year has forced me to realize that, most of the time, life is not extraordinary.  But sometimes it is.  Sometimes it deals you a rough hand.  Sometimes it lifts you up, and sometimes it throws you down.  But here it is.  It is the highs and the lows, the trials, tribulations, and triumphs.  It is in this moment, and this place.  It is around you and in you.  This......This is life.

On this one year anniversary, I want to give a shout out to anyone who has ever read this blog, to the few that have followed it or have subscribed, and especially to the people that have taken moments out of their days to send me comments in one way or another about it.  Thanks for being part of this life of mine and for helping me to think differently.  Thank you for letting me be a part of yours.

It is by no means perfect, but my life did change for the better a year ago today, even if only in small and internal ways.  And I am going to keep at it.  And I am going to keep loving it...one extraordinary moment at a time.

A Deviation

Looking good and dressing well is a necessity.  Having a purpose in life is not. - Oscar Wilde

Not quite how I live my life, in general, but hey - let's roll with it.

I like to be in style.  Or, better put:  I like to be not out of style.  I am not a fashion risk-taker AT all.  I am never the first person, or even the 1001st person to try a new look for the season.  In fact, as brand-spankin'-new-trends go, I usually think they look pretty stupid.  And even more stupid on me.  But after seeing the same style for a year or so (sometimes more), things start to grow on me.  And right around the time when a new style is on the horizon, I, finances considered, generally buy into the oldish one.  More often, my husband buys into them for me.  Yes, my husband.  And I am grateful for this quality in him.  That is, the ability to purchase Christmas and birthday gifts that allow me to stay within a reasonable range of error of the fashion trend line.

This year, I got my first pair of skinny jeans and knee high black boots.

Today, I wore my new boots with some new tights (also purchased by the hubs), a just-longer-than-knee-length skirt, a boat neck shirt, and a fat black belt tying it all together. 

And though I have a feeling that I am going to look back on this little mental image later in life and laugh, and my kids reading this in the future are definitely going to laugh (a lot), I feel like I look pretty good.  And there is something to be said for that.

So here's to you, Oscar Wilde!

The tirimisu at Carmine's was heavenly

So I recently got back from a trip to NYC - four glorious days of bus and subway riding, tour going, show seeing, Christmas shopping, overeating, walking, and keeping track of other people's kids - to an overload of things to do and a sudden realization that Christmas is only a couple of weeks away.

I really missed my kids.  A lot.  I kept seeing kids in strollers and wishing I was happily pushing mine along as well.  (And then I would realize that the odds of my kids sitting that still just watching the world go by, watching their parents shop, and staying up way past their bedtime without so much as a peep or whimper or a "I wanna walk!!" are pretty slim.  I don't know if they sedated these kids or what, but it was almost weird.)

Anyway, two days later, I finally got the suitcase unpacked.  I also finally cracked the newspaper (really to just look at the ads at this point) and got to the end of the first paragraph in an article in the Parade magazine (that is tucked away in with the ads) before I stopped to record it here:

Jack Black's best parenting advice:  "Never try to make a happy child happier.  Just leave it alone.  When you try and kick it up to another level with a scoop of ice cream or whatever, it ruins everything."

So, so true.