Just call me "slash" ;)

So, I am on the advisory board of the Physics Department at my Alma Mater, and we had our semi-annual meeting on Saturday.  I am really so glad to be involved with this, for so many reasons, not limited to the following:

1.  I generally do not like driving.  But I can't tell you how much I enjoyed driving 45 minutes in a car, each way, by myself, listening to my music.  Alone time is scarce in my life.  And you can only listen to the ABC Song and Waltzing Matilda so many times before you start to go just a little bit crazy.

2.  It is nice to go back to the campus and see how much has changed.  And how much stayed the same.  (Though, the realization that people in the dining hall weren't mistaking me for a student wasn't so nice.)

3.  Though I do have a lot of control in and input into my daily life, it is nice to feel like what I have to say is valuable on a professional level.  I felt like a grown-up in a room of grown-ups.  We had intellectual conversations that didn't require interpreting toddler-speak, one word answers, or sign language.  And even though I stand in front of a classroom full of people on a daily basis, when I spoke on Saturday I was actually listened to by everyone in the room. I didn't have to repeat myself thirty times.  I didn't get interrupted.  I was asked questions; not "What's for dinner?" or "What is the homework tonight?" (even though it is written on the board), but about how I thought various things could be improved.  And my suggestions might actually affect change. 

The bottom line is this:  I got to have the experience of moving out of my typical mom/wife/teacher role and spread my wings a little bit.  It felt great.  It felt great to be appreciated in a way not typical of my daily life, and to be told as much.  And that whole notion that by even the smallest things, we can make a difference in the world?  Yeah, a little reaffirmation from a different point of view is pretty awesome.

Money buys happiness?

I read the other day that people generally feel a greater sense of "happy" when they spend their money on experiences as opposed to material goods, and that money can indeed buy happiness if spent on the right things.

Thought provoking, huh?  My initial reaction is that I both agree and disagree.  But this is definitely something that I am going to think about. 

I mean, part of me says that if I am going to spend my money, I want something measurable to come out of it.  Take my dining room table, for example.  I like it.  We waited a long time before we spent our money on it and I am now glad to be able to see it every day.  It looks nice in our house, matches our style, is the right size.  My bed - we bought a nice mattress and it makes me happy and because of it (and sheer exhaustion) I am able to get a wonderful night's sleep.  My camera - I love that I have nice, portable camera that takes decent pictures.

Ok.  Wait.  I am writing as I think, here, and now that I just re-read the three things that came to the top of my head, I need to reconsider them.  Is it the table that makes me happy, or is it that we can fit more people around it to have a nice dinner with friends and/or family?  Is it the mattress that makes me happy or the experience of a good night's sleep?  And the camera - I am pretty sure what makes me happy about that is that I get to have a visual record of the wonderful experiences that are happening during the picture taking.

Interesting.

We do not have a tremendous amount of expendable income at this point in our lives.  (At least not after we pay for childcare.  Ugh.)  So, we really don't spend a lot of money on experiences OR material goods, except what we really need.  Not that we don't spend any, but certainly not in the amounts that some people can afford to spend.

With that said, I do know that I love the experience of going to the zoo and children's museum with my kids - no souvenirs necessary.  And vacationing with friends - be it in a condo at the beach or in a tent.  And having fun at Idlewild Park.  And of course, all of the little experiences that require no money at all.

But I also know that I love having a cute new outfit to wear (few and far between these days), and a sentimental piece of jewelry around my neck.

I have a lot more thinking about this topic to do.  And quite possibly a lot more writing.  But I am out of time for a little while...lots on the agenda this weekend (things that might tie in nicely to this post).  So, while I am experiencing, I would love to hear your thoughts on this topic.  Experiences vs. Material goods?  Can money buy happiness?

The Watering Can

Every now and then, I have to remind myself that appreciating life and the moments actually requires a conscious effort.  That is something that is easy to forget as I get bogged down with so many things on a daily basis. So, with that in mind, I decided that I needed to pick a moment today. 

First, a little back story:  Yesterday, John got Cortlan a watering can that the Easter Bunny forgot.  Actually, it wasn't so much that the Easter Bunny forgot.  Rather, there was just not enough time in the Easter Bunny's day sans kids, so by the time the one request* was made, it was too late.  Thus, the Bunny left a note instructing mom and dad to find one.  We obliged. 

*As a rather lengthy side note (I will get to "the moment" in a minute):  One endearing thing about Cortlan, in my opinion, is that he doesn't ask for much.  I realize that will likely change, but for now, I can love it.  For Christmas, he asked for one thing (well, one set of things):  A digger, dump truck, cement mixer, and "everything" (meaning the set of construction stuff).  Last Christmas, it was a train.  For Easter, it was an umbrella.  His aunt got him the umbrella, and you should have seen his face when he saw it...it didn't matter that there were twenty other things in his basket.  He wanted the umbrella, and I swear he would have been happy if that was all he got.  The same is true with the Christmas gifts.  So, yeah, the watering can was request #2.  But he got the umbrella on Thursday from his Aunt LuAnn.  He had asked for the umbrella from the Easter Bunny.  In his mind, he needed to have something for the Easter Bunny to bring, and when he saw the watering can on Friday, it apparently was love at first sight.  He was so appreciative of EVERYTHING on Easter morning (candy notwithstanding), but, don't you know, in a not-really-disappointed-but-matter-of-fact kind of way he said, "Hmmm.  I didn't get a watering can."  The one thing.  I should have known.  Good thing that Easter Bunny can read and write.  And Cortlan can't.

So, anyway...about the watering can and my conscious recognition of a moment (as anti-climatic as it may be)...I love conversations with my kid:

Me:  Wow!  That is a really awesome watering can!  Who is in that picture?

Cortlan: Diego!

Me:  And what else?

Cortlan:  An elephant!!!  (pause) And coffee!!

Coffee??  I am pretty sure that is a drum.  Or maybe Cortlan just knows something I don't...(?)   

And things just seem so much better when it is 80 degrees in April

Some observations from the week:

• Anyone who thinks that what they eat doesn't affect how kids behave should witness the transformation that takes place within minutes of my son having a fun size pack of Skittles.
• There is something unbelievably cute about a 1 year-old in capris and sandals.
• I realize that facing adversity and learning to deal with it is part of growing up, and I don't want to be "that" mom, but sometimes after hearing certain stories, it is hard to not go into Cortlan's preschool and kick some three-year-old butt on his behalf.
• I love my neighborhood and hanging out with my neighbors, but the latest  and best thing - the baby monitor still works in the driveway of our new next door neighbors' house after bedtime.
• I really do not enjoy having to use my weekends to catch up on all of the housework that cannot get accomplished during the workweek.  I really just want to be able to go places and do things, especially now that the weather is getting so nice.  Thus, I am thisclose to hiring someone to clean for me during the school year.  But I probably won't. 
• I like the word swagger.  I don't know why.  I just do.  I don't even really know how to use it.  Is it a noun?  A verb?
• I make it through the first year, and in hindsight, I am kind of able to enjoy babyhood...but things really get fun during the second year.  Now that Everly is starting to communicate a bit more (signing more, all done, eat/hungry, bathtime, and sleepy) and doesn't need to be carried around everywhere, life is getting easier.
• Sometimes, even though I may just want to go to bed and have to reluctantly drag myself there, a girls' night out is exactly what I need.  Though, having it on a Wednesday night may not be the best plan.
• Playing Ring Around The Rosie is much more fun with two kids than one.

Happy Easter!

Time Out

The lack of sleep Monday night due to a crying fit that lasted from 10:30 until 2AM has not been easy to recover from this week.  So, there has been a shortage of patience within our household, at times.  We kind of drudged through the day yesterday - woke to the alarm at 5AM, taught all day, picked up the kids, and then had to head directly to the pediatrician only to find that the ear infection Everly had been treated for did not go away and was now a double ear infection.  (Hence, the crying, I would suppose.)

So, from the doctor's office, the four of us went to Target to get the prescription filled.  We got a snack while we waited, wandered around the store for a bit.  Having not been home yet, still in work clothes, and getting hungry for dinner, we were far from relaxed.  Then came "the incident" while getting into the car and leaving the parking lot that required a time out.  But, we were in the car, so the time out would have to wait until we got home.  Which meant we had the entire ride home to hear about it.  During that time, there was not a sound from anyone else in the car (not even from Everly, who just stared at her brother, taking it all in)...

It was like he went through some sort of internal 5-step program on the ride home. The verbal barrage never once let up for the entire 15 minute journey.  And no one else said a word.

Nooooooooooooooooo!!!!  I don't waaaaaaaaannnnntttttt a time out!  Repeat about 50 times.

Then: 
I know better!!  I reeaalllyy reaallllyy know better!  I know better.  No one else knows better.  I know bettttttterrrrrrr! (sob, sob, repeat)

About 10 minutes into the ride, we were obviously getting closer to home, the future scene of the time out.  His tune changed a little bit:
I wanna go somewhere else!  Can we go somewhere else?  I don't want to go home!  Take me back to preschool!  I want to stay at preschool!  I wanna go back to schoooooooolllllllllll!!!!!! (tears, repeat)

You have to imagine this with the three-year-old accent, too.  At the start of the ride, we were all irrate.  That feeling was subsiding at this point within everyone but Cortlan, as John and I stifled smiles in the front seat.  The drama was unbearable.

He reached a new level:
I don't want a time out!  I want to laugh and smile.  I want to laugh and smile!  (sob, feet kick, arms flail, repeat, repeat)

As we turned onto our street, he started to put it all together. 

I don't want a time out!!  Take me to preschool!  I want to stay at preschool!  I want to laugh and smile!  I know better!  I really really do!  Noooooooooooooooooooooo!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Maybe you had to be there, but is it awful that John and I had to try so hard to not laugh at this point?  Honestly, all he had to do was sit quietly on a green towel in the middle of the living room for three minutes. 

Who needs corporal punishment?

Changes

Those who know me well know that I am horrible at dealing with change.  Really, really bad.  Which is probably part of the reason that I cried for two weeks straight after having my first child.  (Well, that and the awful deluge of post-pregnancy hormones.)  But, the good news is that I have gotten much better.  (I only cried for mere days after the birth of my second child.)  Obviously, I am not "cured," by any means, but having kids has really helped me handle change with a little more grace.  Because, really, I am figuring that is what raising kids is about...constant change.  And dealing with it.  Because everytime you think you have them figured out, they change.

Change comes swiftly with kids...so quickly, you hardly realize it is happening.  Take this last month, for example:  Everly, within the last three weeks, has gone from two naps to one, has gone from four bottles of formula a day to just one in the morning and one at night, now gets two sippy cups of milk and snacks instead of the other two bottles, has switched from a rear-facing car seat to a front-facing one, and has taken her first steps.  No wonder she has been a little cranky.

Change with Cortlan is a little more subtle...yet, it is most definitely there.  His vocabulary and thought processes amaze me every day.  His enunciation is improving on a daily basis.  I swear, two days ago his beginning letters all sounded like "d's," and yesterday he said, "first" as if he had been saying it right all his life.  He is getting taller.  I need to put another mark on the back of his door, because he very well may have grown a half inch in the last week.  He is getting opinionated.  He is growing up.

Last night, I went into the laundry room and Mr. Giraffe was laying on the floor.  I carried him upstairs and showed him to John.  This makes me a little sad.  Cortlan has slept holding onto Mr. Giraffe since he was 7 months old.  (Gasp. Yes, I put a stuffed animal in bed with my child at 7 months old.  But I had a plan, and it worked.  He got attached to that giraffe, and when he started daycare, Mr. Giraffe went with him.  It was an irreplacable piece of home, and it helped my little boy sleep.  If Mr. Giraffe was there, we all felt good.)  So, the fact that Mr. G. was on the laundry room floor while said little boy was sleeping peacefully in his bed called attention to the change, and that made me a little sad.  

I am getting better at change, but I am pretty confident that I am still going to be that mom that bawls her eyes out on the first day of kindergarden...and at every other milestone in the book.  Don't even get me started about my little boy's wedding day.  I have, pathetically, already cried about that one.  (I have a theory about that - but I will leave that for a later post.)

I am getting better at change, and I am taking this growing-up thing all in stride.  At least, the best I can.  But I still tiptoed into Cortlan's room last night and snuggled Mr. Giraffe next to him in bed.  Just in case.

Enjoying these moments

Just a few of my favorite moments from the past several days:

On Wednesday, Everly didn't want to get out of bed.  And so she cried.  Until John put her hat on her.  Then she was fine.  She was still wearing the hat when I picked her up from school.  It was 60 degrees outside.

That same day, Cortlan decided he wanted to wear his tie to school.  (Why not?)  When asked by his classmate why he was wearing "that thing,"  he simply said, "Because I like it!"  Cortlan was still wearing his tie when I picked him up from school.

On the way home that day, with Everly in her forward-facing car seat for only the second day, they held hands and smiled.  (Note the tie.)  Then we went to the park before even going home and enjoyed every minute of the spring-like weather with some friends.  Sometimes, just a change from the norm is all we need.

Thursday, I came home late after a training at school.  When I got home, John was grilling burgers and the kids were playing on the deck.  (Ahhh - spring!!)  Cortlan came running up to me with his winter mittens on.  He said, "These are my space gloves!  And that is my spaceship!"  I love the uninhibited 3-year-old imagination.  It takes me places, too.

At dinner, Everly began the "dropping the cup on the floor to see how many times daddy will pick it up" game.  As she held the cup precariously over the edge of the tray, he said to her, "If you drop it again, I am not picking it up."  She dropped it.  Cortlan, without a word, got out of his seat, walked over to Everly's side of the table, picked up her cup, gave it to her, and then quietly got back in his seat.  We watched with our hearts swelling.  And then she dropped the cup again.