After managing a spontaneous trip to the zoo today and in the midst of stressing about (and working to complete) my never-ending "To-Do" list, I somehow found myself with a few spare minutes this afternoon to pick up my latest non-fiction read: The Happiness Project by Gretchen Rubin. I got about three pages further in my reading when I encountered this:
" 'Happiness,' wrote Yeats, 'is neither virtue nor pleasure nor this thing nor that, but simply growth. We are happy when we are growing.' Contemporary researchers make the same argument: that it isn't goal attainment but the process of striving after goals - that is, growth - that brings happiness."
Definitely something for me to think about. Care to share your thoughts?
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"Life's a journey not a destination" (probably said by someone more sensible than Aerosmith) jumps into my head after reading this post.
ReplyDeleteI think that assessment of happiness is pretty accurate for me. I always put so much stock into the process in school, home, relationships. For me, the final goal (be it a family Christmas, a race, a degree) while I am always focusing on achieving it never quite gives me the same satisfaction as the path to my goal.
I cried at the Pittsburgh Half Marathon thinking about everything I did to try to grow as a runner-the race and result meant nothing to me (well, finishing did) it was what I went through to get there.
When I look at a project my daughter and I do, completing it doesn't make me happy but working together does.
I think we need constant challenges and new goals to keep us satisfied. It becomes difficult because there never seems to be enough time to work on personal, professional, and family goals (I could add a few more-cooking goals, house keeping goals-but who wants to focus on that-)
I don't know. I am super happy when the kids aren't fighting and getting along. Those are some of my most memorable times. And that has nothing to do with working towards a goal but is about a moment in time. And I find I am happy when I take time to just enjoy the present moment and not think about what I have to do, what I did or didn't do. Again - that's not about reaching a goal but about living in the present (because that is all you got).
ReplyDeleteVery well said, Kelly. The thoughts about training for a race immediately entered my mind when I read that quote; I don't know that anyone could argue how much fulfillment actually comes from the months of preparation in comparison to the short-lived high of the race itself. I loved your example of completing a project with the kids - so very true.
ReplyDeleteI, too, find a lot of personal truth in this statement, and it makes me realize how important it is form me to set goals, even if as simple as to come up with a better lesson plan for teaching vectors (or whatever). But - as you said - the time becomes the issue! Honestly, though, after thinking about this, I think that having children has brought me so much happiness in part because raising children is such a huge goal and a process that keeps me growing as well...the end result being 20+ years away. Hmmm...Makes me think about empty nest syndrome in a new way.
Kristin - I didn't read your comment until after I had written my previous response. I can't help but agree with you - afterall, my big idea with this blog is to appreciate and enjoy the moments! But I think that it is possible to be happy in the moment without a "bigger picture" sense of happiness that the quote was referring to. I think that is what most people are after - that general sense of happiness in life. I do find so much happiness by living in the present, though, and try to remember that every day. :)
ReplyDeleteOk, so I feel like I can write a whole other post on this, and I may, but since you mentioned it, Kristin, I thought I would add it here. Funny enough, the next section of the book is called "Enjoy now" and mentions that the challenge is to "take pleasure in 'the atmosphere of growth'...in the present." She also comments that "if I can enjoy the present, I don't need to count on the happiness that is (or isn't) waiting for me in the future. The fun part doesn't come later, now is the fun part." So there you go - right on! :)
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