Keeping on

I just finished reading an article about Sherry Arnold and I am feeling pretty sad.  Sherry is a mom of five, a high school teacher, and a runner.  She went for a morning run last weekend and wasn't seen alive by her family again.  Two suspects were arrested but little information is being released by authorities about how she died.  My heart is aching for her family, her children, her students, her friends.  I can't imagine the pain they must be enduring right now.  As a fellow a mom and high school teacher, this is devastating.

As a runner, I am also a little angry.  You see, recently, not far from where I live, two women were assaulted near their homes after returning from early morning walks.  The man hasn't been caught, and similar attacks have occurred in another community not too far away that authorities are suspecting may be related.  In this low-crime, very safe suburb, women who have never been scared before are scared.  One of my best friends, also a runner and a teacher, has recently learned how to load a shotgun.  This upsets me.  Don't get me wrong - I am not upset that she knows how to load a gun.  I am upset because there was a reason she felt the need to learn. 

I am angry because when I woke up Saturday morning, I decided not to run.  I decided not to run because in order to get back in time to prepare for my son's birthday party, I was going to have to leave at 6:30 AM.  It is dark at 6:30 AM.  Sherry Arnold left her house at 6:30 AM.  I have run at 6:30 AM and earlier many, many times.   I am always cautious and vigilant, aware of my surroundings, and choose my routes carefully.  I am especially cautious about traffic; I try to make eye contact with as many drivers as possible, I wear visible clothing, blinking lights, follow all rules of the road, and stick to low traffic areas as much as possible.  But Saturday morning, I decided not to go.

I am training for a half-marathon; I don't have a treadmill or a gym membership.  I work full time.  My options are limited, and I typically run in the dark during the week.  I will probably continue to do so.  But I am angry that I am thinking twice.  I am angry that there are women all over this country who have heard the story of Sherry that are thinking twice.

Why did I choose running in the first place?  Because I had a baby at home and little spare time and I could lace up my shoes and head out the door.  Freedom from the schedule of an exercise class.  Freedom from a gym and membership.  Freedom from having to drive to a location to exercise.  Freedom to be outside in the fresh air and to just run.

And now I feel that a little bit of freedom has been taken from me and countless other mother runners who kiss their kids goodbye before they leave with every intention of returning as a better mom.  Or at least returning.

I began this post on Saturday; it is now Tuesday and I am finally getting back to it.  I have since run 12 miles - seven during the middle of the day on Sunday and five in the dark last night. I woke this morning to find a blog post in my inbox from the authors of Run Like a Mother with reminders of safety tips that any runner should review.  I am certainly going to be more mindful.  And with a refusal to be terrorized, I have decided that I am going to keep running and find that freedom again.

I hope that the guy in my area is caught soon.  I hope that Sherry's family sees justice served and they find strength to get through the grieving process.  I hope that all the runners out there return home safely.  And that they keep on running.