Still in denial

A little ice cream (or frozen yogurt) always helps people adjust to being another year older....but he is still intent on telling people he is five.

Happy Birthday, Cortlan!

Last night, as I tucked Cortlan into bed, I could tell that he was fighting tears.  We said our goodnights and I love yous and then the tears began to fall.  "What's wrong, buddy?" I asked him.  He cried harder as he tried to get out the words.

"I am sad that this is my last day to be five!"  

It was hard to know what to say.  To be honest, I was a little sad, too.  But, to be clear, I didn't let on to that fact at all.  Instead, I gushed about how cool it is that he is going to be six and all of the great things that are going to happen.  I asked him what he thought was going to be good about being six.  "The tooth fairy."  What else?  "I will be able to play Beyblades with Cayden."  Yes!

Yet, the tears still fell.  "Buddy, I love you tons.  What is wrong?"

"I wish I would have made a list of all of the things I did!" he sobbed.

"A list of all of the things you did?  You can still do that!"

"No! It would have to be today because I am five today.  I won't be tomorrow."

"You will still remember things about being five tomorrow...we can still write the list tomorrow if you would like.  But remember, we have lots of pictures that we took and things you did at school that we kept, right?"

"Yes."

"And if you want to keep a journal when you are six, you can."

He responded with an "okay" and gave me a big, teary hug.  He was trying to calm down as I left the room, but I had to go back into his room once more before he stopped crying.

This morning, when he woke up, the first thing that Cortlan said to me was, "I stayed up a really long time last night so that I could be five a little longer."

I may have one of the most nostalgic kids in the world.  He wants to keep every memento and scrap of paper, every picture and every piece of schoolwork.  He loves memories and wants to stay little forever.  He writes me love notes:

It is hard to believe that he is six.  I am going to miss these days, too, but I am happy to see him growing up. He is becoming more independent.  He is learning to read.  He is getting better at math.  He is gaining confidence.  He loves building Legos.  He wants to play the violin (but will settle for the piano for now).

Cortlan is such a tenderhearted, sweet boy.  He is so loving.  He is a great big brother.  He is a great son.  I will miss the five-year-old, but I am confident these things aren't going away in my new six-year-old.  

I will help him write down the things he did this year, if he still wants me to.  I will help him keep a journal if he is interested.  But what I am really looking forward to is making more memories with my six-year-old.

Happy Birthday, buddy!

Happy New Year 2013

The year 2012 did not necessarily end on a high note for us...with a funeral, a trip to the ER on Christmas Eve, nearly everyone in my family (including extended family) getting sick, and being holed up in the house and having to cancel or postpone plans with friends and family we were to get together with, I seriously could use a do-over for the last couple of weeks.

But there were some great things that happened through the year...new friendships developed, old ones were reaffirmed and strengthened, new memories were made and milestones reached, growth and change happened all around us.  Those things cannot be overlooked.  Life is good.

Still not one for resolutions, I do appreciate the sense of starting fresh and beginning a new journey.  I feel as though I lost focus of a few things last year, and my hope is to bring the right things back into perspective.  In comparison to the prior couple of years, for one reason or another, I would say that I was a bit more negative, self-doubting, and insecure in 2012.  I would like to change that.  I would like to continue to strive for balance and renew my efforts to savor the moments in life that make it so special.

Shortly after the clock struck 12 last night, my neighbor said, "I resolve to be happy in 2013!"

Sounds good to me.

My snow angels

Our Christmas Eve in a nutshell

It started like this:

Turkey time with Dr. John

It included a lot of cleaning, cooking, eating and present opening with family, all while John steadily went down hill.

It ended like this, after he passed out in the bathroom after I got the kids to bed:

John attempting to look much happier than he felt.

We got discharged a little after 4 AM from the emergency room.  Fortunately, I had a Christmas elf (my dad) able to come over to be at our house with the kids.  I was ecstatic that he also cleaned my kitchen and put all of the food away while he was here.  I was also thrilled that the kids slept until nearly 8 AM, allowing us to get almost 3 hours of sleep before checking to see if Santa had made the trip to our house.  He had...

Santa's Note

Amidst the craziness of Christmas Eve, we somehow forgot to leave cookies and milk out for Santa, though we did sprinkle food for the reindeer.  Good thing the huge cookie tray was sitting on the counter from the evening's festivities...Santa's no dummy.

My very own Christmas Concert