Quite a day...

(I am going to ignore the fact that it has literally been years since I have written here.  Just go with it.)

Today was a day with just about every emotion.

We had a lot planned and it all started off well.  I ran. The kids watched some TV.  John made us pancakes and then went to work out.  The kids played with slime.  I did taxes.

We got ready to go to the funeral home of the mom of a close family friend.

We went to the viewing, where Cortlan cried - not because he had ever met the wonderful woman who had recently passed away (he hadn't), but because he was sad for everyone there.  They had lost someone.  And he was sad at the reminder that death is a part of life.  And him crying - and his very legitimate reasons to do so - made me cry, too.

We stayed for the appropriate length of time, talking to people we hadn't seen in a while, looking at pictures of an 86 year old's honeymoon in Italy, doing our best to provide words when there weren't any.

Then we headed out, because there was a soccer skills training to get to and it was after 3pm and we needed to drive 20-25 minutes home and then have Everly change and get back in the car to drive 30 minutes to soccer that started at 4pm.  Oh - and we had to gather clothes for a semi-formal father-daughter dance that started at 5:30 that was 30 minutes away from soccer.  Soccer was to end at 5pm.

Or so we thought.

Racing to get out the door with enough time to get to soccer on time, we forgot to load the soccer ball into the car.

At 4:03, I get a text.  "Does soccer start at 4:30?"

I checked my confirmation e-mail.  It clearly said 4:00.  I texted another mom.  They had changed the start time.  (Why didn't I get an e-mail?) 

"Well, at least we are just unprepared and not late and unprepared."

So they got there (with plenty of time to spare).  And Ev worked hard at soccer.  And they made it to the dance, though a bit late (and without a selfie, but that is ok). 

And meanwhile, Cortlan and I had our own date.  We went to dinner and then to a Youth Concert Orchestra performance.

And as I sat with my son listening to the beautiful music, thinking of John and Everly at the dance, I couldn't help but to think that despite the ups and downs of the day, life is good.

Time Travelers

Everly: Oh, by the way, the date on the clock in my room is wrong.  It is March 22nd in there.
Cortlan: So wait, you can travel in time in your room?

Outsmarted by a seven year old?

Everly: How many Reece's Pieces can I have [as a snack]?

Me (with a wink):  As many as you are willing to give me.

Everly looked at me, thinking. Clearly, this caused a dilemma (which was kind of the intent): if she took ten, that meant she had to give me ten. But if she only gave me one, that meant she only got one. I was curious as to how she would handle this.

So she thought for a bit. And then, she did something I hadn't even considered.

She handed me the entire bag.

Because she wanted the entire bag.

The Maiden Voyage

So we've got a night in the RV under our belt now.  We wanted to get in a local campground visit prior to any major journey so that if there were issues, they would be short term because we would be headed home soon enough and/or we would be close enough to home that we could bail if necessary.  On May 21, our plan was to depart after soccer and swimming lessons and lunch - around 1pm - and travel the hour or so to the campground to arrive around the 2pm check-in time.

I have done quite a bit of research now on how to equip and pack an RV.  Maybe at some point I will add a post about the process and what we ended up packing, but let me start by saying that I had a few priorities in the process: 

1. Be minimalist.  (I would rather have not enough and need to add then too much and have to figure out what to get rid of.)

2. Try to pack so that things aren't going to shift around during the drive.  (This involved a small fortune of shelf liner.)

3.  Make sure that there are things for the kids to do.

Here are a few lessons that we learned on our maiden voyage:

Lesson 1: Don't be in a hurry.  Our plan was to leave at 1pm.  We were all loaded up and buckled in at 1:30 - not too far off of schedule.  Then the RV wouldn't start.  Not good.  Being that we were all in the RV already, I told the kids we were just going to pretend we are camping - it was pouring anyway, and we were doing exactly what we would be doing at the campground.  So, John worked on figuring out what was going on and getting the battery charged (with me helping the little that I could) and the kids played.  (Item #1 added to the packing list for the future - a battery charger.)  Two hours later, we pulled out.

My view on our way

Lesson 2: Minimalist works, but not everything is unnecessary.   Like a battery charger (see lesson 1).  And leveling blocks.  Leveling blocks are definitely necessary.  In our first spot, we were tilted front to back and side to side.  Everly unbuckled and took her first step after we parked and promptly fell into the table.  Later, we moved to a spot we thought was more level, but was still tilted side to side.  Fortunately, the tilt was such that we rolled into walls instead of out of bed while sleeping.  Unfortunately, the tilt was away from the shower drain, which meant I had to try to kick the water into the drain the entire time that I was showering.

Lesson 3: Be willing to play in the rain.  And cook in the rain.  We spent some time in the RV building puzzles, coloring and playing games, but we did need to get out and we realized that if we didn't go out in the rain, we wouldn't be going out at all.  We also realized that our rain/mud boots were one of our most valued items.  We played in puddles.  We took walks.  We came back and built a fire (bringing dry fire wood and dryer lint to start the fire was key) and cooked mountain pies for dinner in the rain.  We ate under the awning and then made s'mores.

Lesson 4: Have a positive attitude.  The attitude we took for this trip was that it was all experimental.  We needed to get everything figured out and we knew that we didn't know everything yet and that things were bound to go wrong need improved upon.  Things did go wrong.  Like the battery dying and the sink leaking and the shower water being sub-zero temps 38 seconds into the first shower.  But, we laughed and took care of it and got things figured out.  It rained the entire time (have I mentioned that?) but we had fun despite the rain.  We got the RV to make some memories.  Nothing is perfect, but when we look back on it, the memories can be...problems and all.

Onward...

So maybe it is time to bring this blog back to life with phase two of life.  It seems like our kids grew up overnight.  The stories told of fighting over pacifiers and plumbing the car and moving on to Kindergarden sadly seem long gone.  Replacing those musings with stories of social dramas and bad test grades and how the heck do we schedule everything into our lives doesn't appeal to me, and as the kids get older, I feel that their privacy becomes a bit more important.  Not every story needs to be told in a grand way.  We seem to be in an in-between phase; many of the big moments - potty training, learning to ride a bike, entering kindergarten, learning to read - are behind us now.  My parenting goals are broader and perhaps more lofty: try to make it to the teenage years with happy kids that are willing to talk to us and still want to be around us, confident kids that know right from wrong, strong kids that won't buckle to peer pressure, kind and empathetic kids that help others, hard-working kids that...well, you get the picture.  Yes, lofty.  And then once we get to the teenage years, whew...can't even go there yet.

So here we are...still trying to enjoy the moments, but the moments are different and full of new challenges and all kinds of ups and downs.  We are navigating a tricky world with elementary school aged kids and though sometimes the days are so very long, the years are going by so fast.

So partly because we've always said, "Some day..." (and when, exactly, does that day ever come?) and partly because we are ready for some new adventures, some new memories, some new stories, we are starting the next phase in a big way.

We've got a lot to learn and figure out, but we've also got a lot to see and do.  So here goes nothing...

Oh so punny...

So as we had leftover Manwiches from Cortlan's birthday for dinner, he says, "Wouldn't a Manwich be a warlock?"  It took me a second... ;)

The race to bedtime

As we get ready to head back to school after a wonderful break filled with many mornings sleeping in, the threat of no bedtime stories was made to help ensure that bedtime deadlines were met.  With two showers in our house, both kids are able to shower simultaneously.  This night, a race was declared.  At record pace, Cortlan emerged from the bathroom first, to the dismayed cries of Everly, who shouted, "It doesn't count!!  You had two-in-one [shampoo]!!"

Sometimes Plan B is Awesome

With plans to run with my running buddy suddenly derailed on Thursday, I was left with a few options:  1.  Run by myself at 8pm in the dark, 2.  Skip the run, or 3.  Figure out somehow to run that somehow incorporated the kids while John was at taekwondo.  I opted for #3.  It turned out to be one of the best decisions of my week.

The neighborhood across from ours is essentially a mile loop with cul de sacs that add another mile or so.  Though my original plan for the evening was to run about 5-6 miles, I knew that I had to adjust that goal if my kids were involved.  I decided that 3 miles would suffice.  The kids got their helmets and bikes and I laced up.

Initially, I thought my kids would be outpacing me by a bit.  We had a plan for them to ride around the cul de sacs until I caught up and then we would head to the next one.  It turns out that I can run up hills faster than they can ride up hills.  There were enough hills that we more or less took the same amount of time to make it around.  In some cases, I had to stop for a bit to wait, but they gave it their best.

The hills turned out to be a highlight for me, as behind me I heard Everly, pushing up the hill, yell "Victory is mine!!"

I started down the hill before they made it to the top.  But I knew when they were right behind, as Everly yelled, "Comin' in hot!!"

As we continued, finally finding a flat stretch where we could keep pace with each other a bit better, Cortlan said to me, "Mommy, I love that you love to run."  That meant the world to me.

And it only got better.  We finished the run/ride with a couple more stops (and Cortlan asking, "Next time we stop, can I have a hug?"), and made it safely home.  As I was tucking the kids in for bed, Cortlan tells me, "That was a happy moment in my life."

I completely agree.

Advice to my kids in the future

Write your teachers notes...meaningful notes.

I just got one from a student today and it meant the world to me.

Teachers don't always know what their students are thinking, and though we try our hardest to do the right things and teach our hearts out and show how much we care about our students, teenagers are teenagers and they are hard to read at best.

So when a student takes the time to write a note - a heartfelt note - telling her teacher that her class was a bright spot in her day and thanking her for being understanding and supportive and passionate about what she does, a note that talks about the struggles that were hidden and the little things that  her teacher did to help her through those struggles, it means so very much.

Your teachers care tremendously.  Some more than others.  If you recognize that in them, you should tell them.

So, kids, my advice to you today: pick a teacher that cared and tell him or her how much that meant to you.  It will mean even more to them.  Trust me.

Things have changed a bit...

I am sitting in detention right now.  I am trying to grade papers.  I gave a quiz today that I would love to give back tomorrow.  I am seeing clearly that isn't going to happen.  In fact, considering I just read the same essay 4 times and still couldn't process it, I am fearful that they won't even get the quiz back on Monday.

Sometimes, I think, "It has always been like this.  Sometimes it is just hard to focus."  But then, I think of the level of change and other changes since October 1, 2013, and I wonder, "But has it really always been like this?"  And this being a rare moment when I am willing, I have to concede - no.  Things aren't quite the same.  Turns out, there is more to concussions than meets the eye.

Remember when I used to write this blog quite frequently?  Yeah, that was before the accident.

 Perhaps life just got busier.  Perhaps my priorities changed.  Perhaps I ran out of things to say.  Maybe.  But I love to write and I loved keeping this blog and I miss it.  I used to have so much to say that my fingers couldn't work fast enough.  If I found 5 minutes, I could spill it and enjoy it.  The words would just flow.  Not anymore.  It is much harder now.  Give me a topic, I might be able to pull something off if given enough time.  Give me a story to write, and I can probably do it.  But it isn't easy anymore.

When your brain changes, it is kind of hard to use your brain to figure out the changes.  That kind of metacognition is tough.  Just after the accident, it was literally (yes - I am using that word in the literal sense) impossible for me to realize exactly what had changed.  But I knew that I couldn't work on the computer, read to my kids, follow a recipe, exercise...you know, the things that I would normally do on a daily basis and enjoy.  Back then, it would take me days and days to grade papers that used to take me a few hours.  I would forget ingredients in meals that I was making, even with the recipe right in front of me.  When I did try running again, what I saw seemed much like the work of a bad videographer using a camcorder with no stability controls in the 1980s.  Every step jostled my on-board "camera" and the view was kind of sickening.  Headaches were a given.  That vestibular system of ours is a pretty handy one to have and it sucks when it isn't working right.

So things have certainly gotten better.  They have.  And for all intents and purposes, I am back to normal.  Most people would agree.  I am pretty much able to pull off my visible life with little noticeable differences.  Mostly.  I can run now.  Most days, I can even run without getting headaches.  I am back to cooking up a storm.

What is good is that I am able to focus really well in the mornings after a good night's sleep.  So, often, I will wake up bright and early to get some work done.  I woke up exceptionally early to do my taxes last week.  I will probably grade these papers twice as fast tomorrow morning, until my students come in.  But by the end of the day, the story is different.  So I re-prioritize my days...I front load, big time.  I can grocery shop in the evening and usually not forget anything...as long as I made the list in the morning.  In most ways, I have fully adapted, which is great.

Add stress, and things get trickier.  I have actually been completely debilitated and unable to make simple decisions because of stress since my accident.  It is like my brain shuts down if I am trying to process too many things at once.  I don't recall things being like that before.  The way I think has changed a bit.  The things I think about have changed a bit.

So why am I writing this?  I don't know.  I am not trying to complain.  I certainly don't want anyone to think differently about me.  Maybe I am frustrated.  Maybe I just need to get it out.  Maybe I just need to feel productive...I am certainly not getting these quizzes graded.

And I am stuck here in detention, after all.

Happy 6th birthday, Everly!

The evening before Cortlan turned 5, he cried.  He loved being five, didn't want to grow up, wanted to stay five forever, and, in fact, refused to acknowledge being six for a while.

Yesterday morning, Everly greeted me with a happy "Good morning!" and "Tomorrow is my birthday!  That makes today my birthday EVE!!"

Forever wanting to be bigger and more grown up, perhaps due to having an older brother, Everly has left the minor leagues - the 0-5 year old stage - never to return.  She is thrilled.  I am a bit emotional.  But I am following her lead.

Everly has only recently reached the advised weight for switching from a five-point harness car seat to a booster, but she has been waiting for this moment for years.  Last night, after she was in bed, we took the car seat that she has used for years out of the car and replaced it with a brand new booster.  This morning, when she saw it, it was suddenly like she finally made it to the big leagues.

The year of being five was a big one...getting her ears pierced, starting Kindergarten, learning to read.  And also of us figuring each other out a bit more.  I feel like I learned a lot about what makes Everly tick and how to work with her this year, resulting in more peace and more fun.  She is growing up and figuring things out, as well.

Everly makes us laugh all of the time.  She surprises us with her quick wit and timing.  Over the past year, she has wanted to be a doctor, a teacher, an actor, an artist, and a scientist.  I am loving watching her grow.

Happy birthday to our dynamo, Everly!

Random picture from my phone #1

It was a cold winter.  This was on my way into work.

Random picture from my phone #2

I was so happy to have the opportunity to volunteer at Everly's Kindergarten Valentine party.  I helped with the games, one of which was a candy heart stacking contest.  Kindergartners are certainly a different crowd than the 11th and 12th grade students that I teach!

Vow(el)s

As I was reading a beautiful book called Blueberry Girl tonight to my kids, Cortlan asked, "Did you have to read a poem like this and hope it came true?"

"What?" I asked, confused as to what he was talking about.

"I mean for your wedding.  Did you read a poem like this for your wedding?"

"Oh, no.  But Daddy and I did read our vows," I responded.

Then, Everly piped in, as serious as ever. "What were they?  A, E, I, O, U?"

Click Clack Moo

The reviews are in-

Click Clack Moo was a big hit!

Theater lovers.

A low key Saturday

Who can match fastest?

A few quick games of Nada.

Saturday evening.

Friendly dinnertime competition

A staring contest.

"I will crush you!" says Cortlan.

Tough competition!

I hope it continues...

For so long, we read.

Now we get to listen, too.

Bedtime ritual.

A cool treat

Rarely in the house -

Ice cream is a sometimes food!

Caught on camera! 

;)

Progress

Projects take patience

We have learned this first hand

Going on nine months