Adrift

The kick-off in-service day for the school district in which I teach was on Monday.  I might be unusual, but despite my anxiety and reservations about going back to school each year, I actually look forward to hearing the message that is presented on that first day.  It is usually inspirational and ultimately reminds me of why I do what I do and makes me feel all warm and fuzzy about the start of a new year.  Unfortunately, times are a little tough in public education these days, and while I sat eagerly awaiting a morning flooded with inspiration, it only came in spurts and sputters.  There were great moments - a teacher with the message of teaching with passion, phenomenal student performers - but the unfortunate message seemed to be to brace ourselves.  While our district's theme was once "Great Expectations - The Best is Yet to Come," the message we were receiving seemed quite contrary to that.  We are facing some tough times ahead, economically speaking, and that means that changes will come.  I wasn't feeling my usual back to school excitement by the end of the day.

Fortunately, the message was a little brighter on day two of in-service, and I was reminded again of how fortunate I am to be a teacher and teaching in the building that I do, and that things are never as bad as they could be.  The following article was just one of many that we were given as "food for the spirit" and I loved the message, so I am going to share it.  I am not sure of the author, but the title is "Adrift":

In 1982, Steven Callahan was crossing the Atlantic alone in his sailboat when it struck something and sank.  He was out of the shipping lanes and floating in a life raft, alone.  His supplies were few.  His chances were small.  Yet when three fishermen found him seventy-six days later (the longest anyone has survived a shipwreck on a life raft alone), he was alive - much skinnier than he was when he started, but alive.

His account of how he survived is fascinating.  His ingenuity - how he managed to catch fish, how he fixed his solar still (evaporates sea water to make it fresh) - is very interesting.

But the thing that caught my eye was how he managed to keep himself going when all hope seemed lost, when there seemed no point in continuing the struggle, when he was suffering greatly, when his life raft was punctured and after more than a week struggling with his weak body to fix it, it was still leaking air and wearing him out to keep pumping it up.  He was starved.  He was desperately dehydrated.  He was thoroughly exhausted.  Giving up would have seemed to only sane option.

When people survive these kinds of circumstances, they do something with their minds that gives them the courage to keep going.  Many people in similarly desperate circumstances give in or go mad.  Something the survivors do with their thoughts helps them find the guts to carry on in spite of overwhelming odds.

"I tell myself I can handle it," wrote Callahan in his narrative.  "Compared to what others have been through, I'm fortunate.  I tell myself these things over and over, building up fortitude..."

I wrote that down after I read it.  It struck me as something important.  And I've told myself the same thing when my own goals seemed far off or when my problems seemed too overwhelming.  And every time I've said it, I have always come back to my senses.

The truth is, our circumstances are only bad compared to something better.  But others have been through much worse.  I've read enough history to know you and I are lucky to be where we are, when we are, no matter how bad it seems to us compared to our fantasies.  It's a sane thought and worth thinking.

So here, coming to us from the extreme edge of survival, are words that can give us strength.  Whatever you're going through, tell yourself you can handle it.  Compared to what others have been through, you're fortunate.  Tell this to yourself over and over, and it will help you get through the rough spots with a little more fortitude. 

The Parents' Pledge

As I was gathering the recycling to take to the curb this evening, I came across the April 2012 edition of Parents Magazine.  After months of it sitting around and me reading it bit by bit, here and there, it was time to get it out of the house.  But there was actually a reason that I hadn't tossed it already: on the inside of the cover was something they called "The Parents Pledge."  I have read it several times over the months since receiving the magazine in the mail, and despite the fact that it can be found at www.parents.com/lifetime-learning-pledge, I decided that I wanted to record it here in hopes that I will come to it again and remind myself of this pledge every now and then.  I really appreciate and enjoy the message it sends.  And it always helps to be reminded of these things.

The Parents Pledge

To help my kids develop a love of learning that will last a lifetime, I promise to:

encourage independent play
I'll give them the time and space to experiment and learn things on their own.  And if they get frustrated, I'll greet them with guidance, not answers.

hit the books
I'll read to my kids every day - even once they're old enough to do it by themselves.

nurture their natural curiosity
While a preschooler's nonstop questions can be wearying, I'll always try to respond with enthusiasm.

give them a game plan
If they're struggling with a task, I'll break it down into simple steps.

embrace setbacks
It's my job to recast disappointments as a chance to improve, and I'll inspire my kids to keep trying.

compliment them the right way
I'll be specific when doling out praise and focus on tier effort rather than the results.  Excessive ooh-ing and aah-ing can dampen their motivation.

support special interests
I'll help my kids find a passion or a hobby by exposing then to lots of things and by visiting museums, libraries, and historic places.

create little challenges
Asking how many red cars they can spot or how to spell a simple word will boost their sense of competence.  Plus it's fun.

practice the things I preach
They'll care more about academics if they see me reading for pleasure, calculating our budget, and researching a new subject on my own time.

tolerate messes
Learning isn't always neat and orderly.  A little chaos is a vital part of the process.

be my kids' top learning advocate
Whether they have problems with a homework project or simply need a pep talk, I'll strive to be as supportive as I can be.

Source:  Parent's  magazine, April 2012, inside cover.

Manners List

In March, Parents magazine inluded an article titled, "25 Manners Every Kid Needs By Age 9."  I would also argue that adults could use an article like this as a little reminder every now and then, though perhaps with some editing.  I was just sorting through a few things in a lame attempt to organize a bit and came across the article.  I was planning to keep it, but as I saw it for the first time since putting it in a random folder in March, I decided that I would instead throw the article away and include its contents here.  Because, really, the odds of it becoming anything more than clutter is pretty slim at this rate.  I hope this isn't violating any copyright or fair use policies, but again, though I agree with nearly all of it (and would even add to it), it is not my own work - it was written by David Lowry, PH.D. and published by Parents magazine.  Here goes:

1. When asking for something, say "Please."
2. When receiving something, say "Thank you."
3. Do not interrupt grown-ups who are speaking with each other unless there is an emergency.  They will notice you and respond when they are finished talking.
4. If you do need to get somebody's attention right away, the phrase "excuse me" is the most polite way for you to enter the conversation.
5. When you have any doubt about doing something, ask permission first.  It can save you from many hours of grief later.
6. The world is not interested in what you dislike.  Keep negative opinions to yourself, or between you and your friends, and out of earshot of adults.
7. Do not comment on other people's physical characteristics unless, of course, it's to compliment them, which is always welcome.
8. When people ask how you are, tell them and then ask them how they are.
9. When you have spent time at your friend's house, remember to thank his or her parents for having you over and for the good time you had.
10. Knock on closed doors - and wait to see if there's a response - before entering.
11. When you make a phone call, introduce yourself fist and then ask if you can speak with the person you are calling.
12. Be appreciative and say "thank you" for any gift you receive.  In the age of e-mail, a handwritten thank-you note can have a powerful effect.
13. Never use foul language in front of adults.  Grown-ups already know all those words, and they find them boring and unpleasant.
14. Don't call people mean names.
15. Do not make fun of anyone for any reason.  Teasing shows others you are weak, and ganging up on someone else is cruel.
16. Even if a play or an assembly is boring, sit through it quietly and pretend that you are interested.  The performers and presenters are doing their best.
17. If you bump into somebody, immediately say, "excuse me."
18. Cover your mouth when you cough or sneeze, and don't pick your nose in public.
19. As you walk through a door, look to see if you can hold it open for someone else.
20. If you come across a parent, a teacher, or a neighbor working on something, ask if you can help.  if they say "yes", do so- you may learn something new.
21. When an adult asks you for a favor, do it without grumbling and with a smile.
22. When someone helps you, say "thank you."  That person will likely want to help you again.  This is especially true with teachers!
23. Use eating utensils properly.  If you are unsure how to do so, ask your parents to teach you or watch what adults do.
24. Keep a napkin on your lap and use it to wipe your mouth when necessary.
25. Don't reach for things at the table; ask to have them passed.

Here's to hoping my kids have these manners someday...hopefully sooner than later.

(There.  Now I can throw that article in the recycling bin and get back to work.)